


Case File JTR

by KahylanCorwin



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drugs, Falling In Love, Fear, Gangsters, Hate, M/M, Passion, Past Abuse, Police, Rehabilitation, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2017-11-27 11:26:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahylanCorwin/pseuds/KahylanCorwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam, a new cop, busts Tommy's deal...then saves his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inspirational lyrics by Skillet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlequietone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlequietone/gifts).



> This story was inspired by the songs "Better than drugs" and "Imperfection" both by Skillet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story starts in the next chapter, these songs are just for reference as the story is inspired by them.

**"Better Than Drugs" by Skillet**

Feel your every heartbeat  
Feel you on these empty nights  
Calm the ache, stop the shakes  
You clear my mind  
You're my escape  
From this messed up place  
'Cause you let me forget  
You numb my pain  
  
How can I tell you just all that you are  
What you do to me  
  
You're better than drugs  
your love is like wine  
Feel you comin' on so fast  
Feel you comin' to get me high  
You're better than drugs  
Addicted for life  
Feel you comin' on so fast  
Feel you comin' on to get me high  
  
Feel you when I'm restless  
Feel you when I cannot cope  
You're my addiction, my prescription, my antidote  
You kill the poison  
Ease the suffering  
Calm the rage when I'm afraid  
To feel again  
  
How can I tell you just all that you are  
What you do to me  
  
Feel your every heartbeat  
Feel you on these empty nights  
You're the strength of my life  
  
Feel your every heartbeat  
Feel you on these empty nights..  
(feel you comin' on so fast,  
feel you comin' on to get me high)  
Feel your every heartbeat  
Feel you come to get me high..  
(feel you comin' on so fast,  
feel you comin' on to get me high)  
  
To get me high.....

 

 

**"Imperfection" by Skillet**

You're worth so much  
It'll never be enough  
To see what you have to give  
How beautiful you are  
Yet seem so far from everything  
You're wanting to be  
You're wanting to be  
  
Tears falling down again  
Tears falling down  
  
You fall to your knees  
You beg, you plead  
Can I be somebody else  
For all the times I hate myself?  
Your failures devour your heart  
In every hour, you're drowning  
In your imperfection  
  
You mean so much  
That heaven would touch  
The face of humankind for you  
How special you are  
Revel in your day  
You're fearfully and wonderfully made  
You're wonderfully made  
  
Tears falling down again  
Come let the healing begin  
  
You fall to your knees  
You beg, you plead  
Can I be somebody else  
For all the times I hate myself?  
Your failures devour your heart  
In every hour, you're drowning  
In your imperfection  
  
You're worth so much  
So easily crushed  
Wanna be like everyone else  
No one escapes  
Every breath we take  
Dealing with our own skeletons, skeletons  
  
You fall to your knees  
You beg, you plead  
Can I be somebody else  
For all the times I hate myself?  
Your failures devour your heart  
In every hour, you're drowning  
In your imperfection  
  
Won't you believe, yeah  
Won't you believe, yeah  
All the things I see in you  
  
You're not the only one  
You're not the only one


	2. Unfortunately, Adam knows how to save his life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam, a new cop, busts Tommy's deal...then saves his life.

* * *

**APOV**

It was my second month on the force when half my department was called out on a major gang drug bust. Fuck I was so not ready for this! My brother Neil had somehow roped me into this and I am still trying to puzzle out how….he can be a crafty bastard when he wants to.

Static came over the radio then a familiar voice said “Hey Adam, hurry your butt up! We are gonna need all the help we can get on this one!”

Smiling to myself I picked up the radio “On my way…. Can’t let you get all the credit Jeff, plus what if there is a scrawny little trickster… There is no way that your petite frame could handle let alone restrain a bundle of energy like that!” I teased back.

10 minutes later I found myself standing in the seediest part of downtown LA, outside a theatre that looked like it should have fallen down a century ago. I held back a snort of laughter at the sight, as it was just so typical…

Stationed outside the back door… with 5 other officers…I inspected my surroundings and the potential get away routes.  We had all of the sides covered… no one was going to get past us if they ran out any of the doors. Glancing up though, a door on the roof caught my attention… nudging Jeff beside me I nodded my head in the direction of the unmarked door… a frown pulled quietly on his face. Quickly I gestured that I would go up and watch the top, to make sure no one jumped.

Hauling my body up the old rusted ladder, I could see that was barely attached to the building but I thought it would hold. I was 3 rungs from the top when I felt the entire ladder give and start to fall… I leaped, using my arms to pull me upward and swinging my legs around, doing a handstand on the top rung  before using my arms to push my body up and backwards so that I landed feet first on the roof, as I heard the delapitated metel splatted onto the ground.

I was seriously going to have to thank Sutan for all the dance lessons he had pulled me to in the last 2 years.

Steadying my adrenalin, I crouched down by the side of the door out of view, and listened for the team to start the raid. I didn’t have to wait long, the front door getting smashed down made a LOT of noise… it must have been reinforced, and then people started streaming out in all directions on the ground… at my high vantage point they looked like well not ants. I was not that high… I was only 5 stories up, but that was high enough.

Watching the show…I started to think that maybe there was no reason for me to have come up here… everyone had been rounded up already and were packed into our red and blue flashing cars.  Half the team went back in to collect the drugs…I thought about going through the door and joining them….When I heard the quick quiet patter of feet running up the stairs towards me.

* * *

  **TPOV**

“Hey! Yo! TJ, you sure about this? No one has ever done something like this before, and I know that the cops have gotten wind of this little escapade…” A small fist connected powerfully with a nose which shattered under the force.

“Never…NEVER question my ways Dale! If I say this is how it’s going to go down than, you had damn well not question me!” I hissed into Dale’s ear, “Ohh, and that nose of yours will need plastic surgery if you want it to look like a nose ever again.” I added with a sneer. 

Dale just whimpered, and slunk out of the room carefully protecting his crushed nose. Fuck when was I ever going to get any respect around here? Drugs were my life; no Drugs are my only LOVE.

Half an hour later I had finally gotten everything set up the way I wanted it to be… There was no way someone was going to get out of this room with more than what they paid for. I had 4 men set up on the door 2 inside 2 out, the entire collection of different products were hidden behind bullet proof glass case… and I was the only one with a key.  

People were skittish, getting in and out quickly… more worried about the potential raid than anything else, which was exactly why I let it slip to the police that there could be a major drug bust tonight at a certain downtown rundown theatre. With people jumpy, they are always looking over their shoulders and not paying attention to the fact that I might be skimping on them!

I knew the police would show up at some point…and I was ready. I have read their little handbook for these kind of situations… everyone forgets the roof in an old building. Old buildings are known for collapsing if too much weight is placed on the roof as the foundation is usually disintegrated, and the support beams are riddled with termites.

Then there is the question of how to get down. I had already inspected the ladder finding it unfit to use…but just in case I had taken out one of the anchoring screws and loosened the other.  No one with a right mind would come looking for people on the roof… and if they did, well they just would not make it up here as that hopeless ladder would fall with the slightest breeze.

I heard the sirens as I was dolling out half the amount of heroin the guy had asked for…the silence in the room was like a tangible tightened wire… then everyone scattered.

For the brunt of the raid I hid in a supply closet, cops always expect you to run, so when you don’t… they just pass you by. Once it quieted down I started toward the roof, but was ambushed myself by the second team… taking off I ran up the stairs, and burst out onto the roof, but my feet stuck at the threshold.

I stared at the uniformed clad man standing a few feet in front of me, and he stared back with the same shocked expression plastered onto his face. I could hear the footsteps of others on the stairs… I made a run for it!

* * *

  **APOV**

I was so not ready when the young man got snagged on the threshold of the door…and from his face I could tell he was not expecting me either. We both heard the sharp tap of boots coming up the stairs, in an instant his expression changed to a stubborn determination and he ran forward throwing his shoulder into my chest as he barreled past me.

His shove had more strength than I was expecting and I was knocked backwards a few steps. Quickly re-evaluating this scrappy kids (for he didn’t look older than 18) strength, I spun around, ran 3 steps and launched myself at him. My arms wrapped around his waist as I rolled hitting the rough roof on my back, trying to protect his head.

My breath slammed out of my lungs and he took advantage of my lack of breath to bite my forearm hard! Squealing in pain I let him go… The Mother Fucker had drawn BLOOD! “Fuck!” I swore as blood gushed down my arm making my grip slippery.

The little fucker was at the edge of the roof, the rest of the team was standing around the door in complete shock as they watched me scramble to my feet. Suddenly I was immensely happy that my mother had blessed me with horrendously long legs as I booked it over to where the kid stood…I was a few feet away when I saw him gather himself and jump!

I reached the edge and ran right off…I could hear the collective gasp from the stupid shitheads who were supposed to be helping me as I flipped around head first, grasped his ankle and pulled/ climbed up his flailing body.

This time I was ready for the impact to leave me breathless. A police car broke our fall… not thinking about the fact that I no longer had any air in my lungs, I wrapped my legs around his lower body, and pinned his arms with my own as we rolled off onto the ground.

We were a tangle of struggling limbs when the other officers ran around the corner at the sound of the crash. I am a big guy tall and solid, but the kid was scrappy and flexible with quiet the fighting spirit! Finally I trumped him my rolling over onto my stomach and pinning him under my weight.

Really looking at him for the first time, I realized he was a head shorter than me and probably half my weight. I tried to ease up and let him breath, but as soon as I did he bit my arm again. “Fuck NO!” I growled at him as I incapacitated his lungs, with the pressure of all my body weight.

Then I felt arms pulling at me, and I realized the others were there and were trying to get me off him, so that this annoying kid could be safely restrained and put in the back seat of my car. It took 5 men to hold him down and get the cuffs on. Then I had to pull him into the car from the right side as 3 other officers pushed him from the left.

Once the doors were closed he seemed to settle down… “Adam, do you know who you just caught there?” Jeff asked with amazement dripping from his voice?  I just shook my head. No I didn’t.  

* * *

**TPOV**

I ran for the edge where I knew the tree was… it was a long jump but if I did it just right I knew that I could make it into the branches and escape into the ally. For good measure I plowed into the guy’s chest with my shoulder as I passed, hoping that he would fall and give me more time.

Unfortunately he hardly budged, I didn’t get 2 feet away before I felt his strong arms wrap around my body…we were falling forward, I braced myself for the end, as if my head hit the roof it would kill me, but everything blurred and suddenly I felt the tell-tale huff of breath as air was pushed from the lungs under me.    

I took advantage and bit down on his arm till I tasted blood, then I jumped up and bolted for the edge of the roof, stopping just long enough to calculate how far I needed to go to get to the tree branches. Although now those tree branches seemed like a really, really, long way away! For the first time I was frightened… the guy’s footsteps were telling me that he was closing in… I had to jump, there was no other choice.

Falling… then a deathly tight grip caught my ankle and somehow wrapped itself around my body… with the extra weight I missed the branches by a mile… I was going to die! I closed my eyes and waited for the second time that day for death to pull me under.  Surprise laced through my body when my fall was cushioned by another body. I was lost in the moment and he was able to pin my arms and legs as we rolled and fell to the ground… turns out we had landed on a cop car….  _Fuck a cop and his car had saved my life…what was the world coming to?_

I struggled as much as I could against him, but he used his weight to roll me onto my back and pin me down… I faked not being able to breath and he let up a little, which is when I bit him again. A deep growl caused my body to vibrate as the man under me fought out “Fuck  NO!” The voice that came with the words stilled my heart. This person had instilled fear into me that my father never could. But he still managed to thwart my escape plan my laying all his weight on me… now I really couldn’t breathe!

Then other cops were there and they wrestled me into handcuffs. I was quite proud of the fact that it took 5 men to get the cuffs on. Then when it came to the car, the guy was back pulling me in from the opposite side, and I just didn’t have the strength to fight him off…but I still did a good amount of damage to the other cops who were trying to push me in.

When the doors were finally closed and locked, I resigned myself to the fact that I had been caught…but really, it was that horrible guy with monstrous legs, and a voice so filled with ‘something’ that really frightened me…

I sulked the entire way to the station…not interested in the conversation I could not hear. I was more focused on how the hell I had been caught by a single guy, and the fact that I was trapped in the back of said guys car, hands tightly bound together, and every few feet he would glace back at me in the rear view mirror, with these piercing blue questioning eyes.

* * *

  **APOV**

“Seriously???” Jeff’s voice pierced the silence in the car as we waited for our turn to leave the crime scene.  “You really don’t know who you have in your back seat?”

I huffed out a sigh “No. Jeff I really don’t. I haven’t been on the force that long you know… and this is my first real assignment as no one but me thinks that giving out parking tickets is a fun thing to do.” 

Finally it was our turn. I had no clue why Jeff was making such a fuss… Glancing in the mirror I watched as the kid in the back squirmed around trying to find a more comfortable position. I didn’t blame him; I had been in my own fair share of backseats with bullet proof glass separating me from the men in front with to tight handcuffs.

Jeff prattled along at me the entire way back to the station which was a good 20 minutes away. I just ignored him and concentrated on driving… but questions were swarming my brain and I kept steeling glances at the kid in the back.

The station was in an uproar when we got there…apparently word of my captured kid had hit the radios, as every cop in our district was gathered in the front hall and spilling into the parking lot. I got out of the car and started to head around to let the kid out… but I was swamped by people, and herded into the main interrogation room which had been set up with a laptop, projector, height chart, camera, and a finger print scanner.  

Loud jeering reached my ears as the kid passed into the building and was corralled into the interrogation room, where he was roughly pushed into a hard metal chair, hands chained to the table, feet to the lug bolts holding the chair in place. I was sitting in a corner, as the chief would be handing the actual booking and questioning, but when the kid looked up and met my gaze all I saw was pure hatred in his eyes and it all was directed at me.  

A cold shiver painfully inched down my spine…I had never known the wild hate, never been exposed to it before, I had thought I knew every kind of hatred, as at some point in my life I had managed to piss everyone I’ve ever known off.  But this boiling rage coming from the small kid was completely alien and I had no idea how to handle it without getting burned.

The chief came into the room cutting off my view of the kid. Once he started to question him I zoned out… I didn’t know why I had to sit here… it wasn’t like I was helping at all, but the one thing I gleaned before I was completely lost to my thoughts was that the kid, was actually not a kid, but a barely legal 21year old adult.

Yelling brought me back to my senses. The kid, no adult, was slumped in the chair having a full body seizure and everyone was running around with their heads cut off. I rushed over, pulled an eye lid open, and a red blood shot eye stared unknowingly back. “Get me a needle, 10cc syringe and a bottle of liquid heroin. NOW” I roared.  Two pairs of franticly shocked eyes met my steely gaze before dashing off to get what I needed.

* * *

**TPOV**

The station was even worse than I expected…every cop in LA must have shown up. The guy was swept away, which was fine with me… I’d rather not ever see him again… but as the jeering started my anger flared. Being slammed into the hard chair did nothing to help my ever decreasing mood.

Then I spotted the guy sitting calmly in the corner…his long legs stretched out in front, he had to be at least 6ft tall.  I watched him through squinted eyes, as he picked aimlessly at his fingers the calm attitude was really getting on my nerves… when he finally looked up at me my hatred spiked and I wanted to taste his blood again.

But my death glare was interrupted by a man who obviously believed he was the cream of the milk. He introduced himself as Mark, Chief of the 29th district complete with an asshole like smile and self-important shrug which accentuated his .22 caliber proudly holstered on his belt.

I just rolled my eyes and settled in for the inevitably long torture of questions. Most of the time I just answered his questions with yes or no, which really pissed him off much to my satisfaction. Every few questions I would steel glances at the man in the corner, he seemed totally out of it… his mind was no longer in this room with us.

After about the 50th question my head started to pound. Before the raid I had spiked myself with a large dose of heroin which was my safety net… if I did not get more heroin into my system in less than 8 hours I would die from the withdrawal.     

The fucker of a chief decided that the 51st question would be the best time to repeat the questions all over again. My head was feeling like a battering ram was slamming into it. At the 62nd question my vision started to swim and darkness was closing in. when the 70th question came around I was perpetually blind and my hearing was slipping. I could no longer understand what words were, and I was losing control of my limbs which were starting to twitch.

Finally I fell totally unconscious…and was left to die as my body shut down from lack of the drug it had become dependent on.

I drifted into the darkness letting my mind slip from my body…but pain flared setting every nerve in my body on fire. My muscles were not listening to me… I could not open my eyes or flail like I wanted to. I was trapped in a burning body… but then a different kind of pain registered in my cheek…I had been slapped!

Slowly I opened my eyes and was met with blindingly blue eyes enflamed with anger. The guy was crouching in front of me one hand on my upper arm slowly releasing its pressure while his other hand held a syringe with a needle poking into my arm, a bottle of liquid heroin hanging from his mouth.  

Shock flittered across my face… “Why, why didn’t you just let me die!!” I screamed at him over and over again… as officers streamed into the room pulling me from the chair and holding me down on the floor so I couldn’t hurt myself. “WHY?” I choked out as tears started flowing.

* * *

**APOV**

After the two of them went scrambling off, I got a better grip on the 21year old and tried to keep his head from slamming into the back/side of the chair.  Mark finally came to his senses and tried to pin the seizing limbs. “NO don’t do that! With this type of full body seizure you will only hurt him more by holding him down, I am only loosely keeping his head steady so that his neck does not break.” I told my superior.

As I waited for the heroin, I was amazed my how the department instantly fell to pieces in a medical emergency, and how they unquestionably followed my orders…even Mark my chief and very much superior, was listening to what I was saying.

My thoughts were interrupted when the two guys crashed back into the room …slowly I shifted my position, crouching instead of standing in front of the patient.  Then I asked for the syringe and needle… they were both still thankfully in their protective sleeves.  Having one pair of uncovered hands was bad enough… keeping things sterile is important.

I ripped open the syringe careful not to touch the end, then carefully opened the end of the needle and attached it to the syringe keeping the pointed end capped. Then I took the bottle of heroin, reading the potency level and guess calculating out how much to give the stupid fuck who had decided to kill himself.

Quickly I shook the bottle, uncapped the needle and drew up a full 10cc’s then I grabbed his right upper arm wrapping my hand entirely around his bicep cutting of the circulation. Flicking the vein with the syringe it surged to the surface and I carefully inserted the needle injecting the drug into his system.

I waited for the seizing to stop but it didn’t… his body was not responding… Quickly I pulled another 10cc’s. _Damn this kid is hard core!_ The purity of the heroin was around 75% -80% and if 20cc’s didn’t stop this than he would die. Slowly I injected the second dose pushing 1 cc at a time waiting for some response… I had 5cc’s left in the syringe when his seizure started to calm down.

“Someone slap him, his system needs to reboot, and the difference in pain will help pull him from the edge.” I barked out. Mark gave the 21yr old a good hard slap that left his hand print on chalky skin.

Slowly his eyes opened as I pushed the last cc into his system. I was beyond rage when his confused unfocused eyes met my gaze. I had seen this happen way to many times to count, and I had thought that I was done with it; apparently my past had found a way to haunt me.

Then as usual the half dead shit freaked out about how he was supposed to die. At that point I just walked away…not needing all the questions about how I knew exactly what to do to save his life… only the Chief was aware of my own blotchy scares in the crooks of my elbows.  There was an all to real reason for why I always wore long sleeves even in the blistering summer LA heat. 


	3. Tommy reflects on his crimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone I'm going to try to post one point of view every other day... but if I have any extra time I will post more!   
> Thanks for being patient!

TPOV

Once the tears stopped I became so violent that the officers could no longer hold me down. But after surviving three brink of death experiences in 4 ½ hours, I felt I had the RIGHT to be fucking pissed!

The officers called for reinforcements when I managed to escape their grasp the 2nd time and managed to make it all the way to the front doors before I was hauled backward by two burly guys. Both of who clearly spent more time in the gym than was healthy.   “Where is Adam when you need him?” Some little punk swore out as I managed to connect with his sweet spot and sent him doubling over.

“Just throw him in a cell and wait for Adam to get back he’s the only one who knows how this kid thinks.” The same punk huffed out. Kicking, elbowing, and biting I fought with all my strength.  The 7 pigs who were trying to keep me from escaping could hardly hold onto my squirming body as they half carried me to the hallway of cells.

The jangle of keys in the lock sealed my doom, as I raged against the steel bars. A few hours much have gone by before I finally calmed down enough to ask for my phone call.  Which my captors flat out refused, _not like I really had anyone to call anyway…but it was one of my rights that I wanted to act upon jus to remind them that I was still a person and needed to be respected._   

They did thankfully grant my wish for water… my throat was raw and throbbing from all the abuse I had put it through…the silence pressed in around me and my thoughts took over. My first thought was, _who the fuck was that long legged bastard who captured me and to top it off knew enough about heroin to save my life._ That question made my head pound, so I started easier… making a list and then worrying over its consequences.

Petty theft, vandalism, DUI, forgery, grand theft auto, possession/dealing of illegal drugs, unregistered concealed weapon, premeditated murder, etc. The list went on… and the worst part was that in each case multiple convictions could be placed on top.  That all added up to at least 3 life sentences, and I was only barely 21, most convicted felons only scratched the surface of my past deeds in their entire lives.  

 _I am on the road to hell, like a train without breaks…full steam ahead_! I did not want to be saved, I had no tolerance for others pity, and was determined that I would lead my own screwed up life and no one was going to get in my way.

With that thought, exhaustion pulled me under into a wonderful dreamless sleep. Even the brick hard mattress on the floor and my shitty insomnia could not stop my body from shutting down and healing. 

I must have slept for hours, as when I woke up my body was starting to go back into shock from lack of heroin. “Hey you…” I yelled down the hallway to the officer standing guard…  “If you want me to live long enough to convict, I need lots of coffee and another shot of heroin!” 


	4. Chief Mark talks to Adam

  APOV

I pushed open the front doors of the station walking down the steps as I took a deep breath trying to control the uneasy feeling in my gut. Watching the 21 year old thrash hysterically on the floor, after I had calmly injected him with an illegal very addictive substance was just too close for comfort with my past.

Unconsciously I began rubbing my arms where my own scars provided proof of my disturbing memories. After my little show today I knew people would have questions… I just was not ready to handle them. Unfortunately Chief Mark had noticed my escape and followed me to my car.

“Hey, you shouldn’t drive right now…why don’t we walk the few blocks to Starbucks, and get you a hot drink?” Mark suggested. I had hoped I could stave off the questions longer than this, but at least he already knew my story… shrugging I accepted and quickly removed my hands from my hidden scars and stuffed them into my pockets.

The walk was quiet…both of us lost in the events of the day. At the counter I ordered a Tazo Vanilla Rooibos Tea Latte then went to find a table while the Chief ordered a black coffee. With our drinks in hand, seated in a back corner of the shop chief cleared his throat. “What you did today…” he seemed to be struggling with what he wanted to say so I just sipped at my tea and waited.

“What you did today…well honestly I have no idea what you did today, but somehow you managed to catch a flaw in our planning, take down one of the most notorious underage…well now of age, criminal that LA has seen in 25 years, recognize a withdrawal, know what drug was used and safe a life.”

I had no idea where this conversation was going nor what to say so I just kept my mouth shut. The chief must have seen my discomfort and added “Adam, I am not criticizing you… it’s a compliment! You did an amazing job today! You took charge of a very precarious situation and saved this department from scandal and an internal implosion.”  Mark clarified.

I was just sat there in a shocked silence. Then as the tea settled my nerves a wall of exhaustion crashed around me.  Suddenly my shoulder was being shaken and Marks voice pulled me back “Hey…Hey Adam, go home before you fall asleep in your chair.”

Half an hour later I crashed onto my bed, it was only 3pm but I was beat and sleep gladly snuggled around me. Groaning I slapped the buzzing alarm clock that said it was 6am…time to face the light of day.

On my way to work I decided to stop and grab another one of those teas… to help keep me calm. At the counter I ordered my drink, and when the woman asked if that would be all I decided that it wasn’t… I also ordered two black coffees with extra kick. If I remembered correctly…that kid would need all the extra help a good coffee could give, along with more of that damn heroin…. He was probably in dire need of it by now, as no one else would have thought to give him more or was smart enough to not kill him with the dose.           

This was going to be a VERY long day!


	5. Coffee, Heroin, and Spiced Peaches

TPOV

“Hey!!! What would your supervisor say if he came in here in like 3 hours and found me dead on the cold floor of my cell on your watch?” I yelled down the hallway… I had a seriously pounding headache but one that could be easily fixed with some caffeine, but the shaking in my limbs would not be fixed so easily. “Fuck…you assholes, it’s called innocent until proven guilty right? Well nothings been proven! If I die here… my death will be on your hands!”  I accused raging against the bars that held me captive.

“Quit your yammering and go to sleep!” one of the guards yelled back….  “No one is going to be here for another 2 hours its only 6am. You said 3 hours…well then you’ll be fine so fuck off!”

I was losing strength by the minute the only thing keeping me standing was my grip on the bars,  but my hold was waning… slowly I fell to the floor and curled into a ball. Minutes went by in complete stillness, but then I heard 2 surprised voices in the main room. I really didn’t give a shit about what happened any more.

“Great! Fucking amazing! This is preposterous! Who would have surmised that I would keel over from lack of heroin when I could get my hands on the best shit out there…?”  I hadn’t meant to say it out loud and there was no one around to hear me so the response made me jump.

“Well you definitely have more of a vocabulary than I thought you would! I’m impressed! So by the look of you I’m guessing that you need your “medicine” and maybe a good pick-me-up?”

On the first word I closed my eyes… I knew this voice….that bitch longshanks was back, and by the smell he had brought a tantalizingly good smelling coffee that could have only come from a Starbucks.

 “Arrogant bastard!” I cursed out. The laugh that followed rattled me to my core. It was not a laugh of arrogance, fear, or anything else that I was expecting… it was a real heartfelt laugh.

“Do you want the coffee or not? If not…then more for me!” I looked up just in time to see him take a long swig of the burning hot liquid… steam pouring out of his mouth as he took the cup away from his lips. “Wow that is the best black coffee I’ve had in a very long time!”

“Just give it to me! I cried out lunging for the second cup that was profited through the bars. Seizing the cup I practically inhaled the entire thing in 2 monstrous gulps.  It was gone way to fast… I eyed the other cup in his hand, longing clearly written across my face.

He must have seen my eyes fix on the second cup because it also found its way into my hands. I took a slower sip this time trying to memorize the taste… but this one had a slightly different taste… like spiced peaches…. I sniffed at the rim, realizing that this one was the cup he had drunk from.  I scowled but finished it off none the less. Coffee was Coffee!

“Now give me your arm! Coffee may help your mood but this stuff is the only thing that’s going to keep you alive. Unfortunately…” The last word was tacked on like he was really upset by the heroin. 

* * *

* * *

APOV

Struggling out of Starbucks with 3 drinks in my hands was tough, but trying to get to my keys was almost impossible, they were buried in the tight back pocket of my black jeans. I was not require to come to work today so I was in my play cloths as the other officers called them. Finally giving up, after almost spilling both my steaming tea and one of the coffees down my front, swearing loudly I placed everything on the roof of the car, dug out the keys and got everything unlocked. 

5 minutes later with all the drinks in a safe spill free place, I started back to work. For some reason I was just....unsettled. Thinking about my past and knowing that that kid was going through the same thing...just didn't sit right. 

Traffic was light and before I knew it the car was parked out front of the station. Sitting there looking up at the intimidating building sent shivers down my spine. For the thousandth time I wondered how the fuck my brother had talked me into working here. It was now 15min after 6am… I was really early, but eh people were already asking questions….why not keep them on their toes? I really didn’t want to be here, but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that if I waited than the blond would not last long.  Careful not to burn myself I gathered up the hot cups and pulled my tall frame out of the car.  Dragging my feet, back hunched, and head bowed, I managed to get through the front doors.

 “Adam?” a surprised voice reached my ears. “I thought you had the day off man…why are you here? And yea you’re a work-a-hollic but its barely 6:15!” Heaving a deep sigh my eyes found Jeff who had a smirk turning up the corner of his mouth.

“How’s the boy?” I asked setting down the two coffee cups.

“That brat?” Well he would do better if he kept his mouth shut! The little shit decided to scream at us around 6am exclaiming he would die in 3 hours. That he was innocent and his death would be on our hands if we didn’t go anything.” Jeff hotly replied, but his expression quickly fell as he watched Adam’s emotions flicker across his face.

The longer Adam listened the stronger his entire soul rebelled.  What won out was a mixture of extreme anger and heartfelt concern. Were these people really so stupid??? No not exactly… they just had no idea what they were dealing with and had decided that it was not their problem. Adam’s entire body was shaking with rage and his normally electric blue eyes had hardened into cold penetrating diamonds. Reaching out his hand he growled “Give me the keys… NOW!” His voice was pitted low grating up this throat practically barking the last word.

Around the station Adam was known for his easy going personality and temperament. He had a bright energetic gaze and a comfortable presence. So this 180 flip of seething anger was not expected from the gentle giant. Jeff and his partner tripped over one another in their hast to get the keys into the waiting hand. Once the suddenly intimidating man stormed down the hall, both men fell into their chairs feeling like they had just faced death itself.

Trying not to run down the hall, sliding to a stop before the gates to the holding cells, Adam jammed the keys into the lock, slamming the door into the wall. Hearing its crash he finally realized just how riled up he had become. Taking a deep breath he ran his free hand through his dark hair. It was then that  his brain started to work properly again, and a small voice finally broke through his mind.

“…Keel over from lack of heroin when I could get my hands on the best shit out there…?”

The voice was shaking in withdrawal, but the partial statement was a mixture of smug satisfaction and frustration. It was just enough to make a sly twitch at the corner of Adam’s lips.

“Well you definitely have more of a brain than I was expecting…I’m impressed!” Adam called out as he walked over to the cell that the boy was held in. As he talked Adam studied the person before him… “So by the look of you I’m guessing that you need your ‘Medicine’ and maybe a good pick-me-up?” Adam’s genuine smile returned in full when the young man responded.

“Arrogant bastard!”

Adam tried to hold it in but his joy full laugh burst past his tongue and danced through a few octaves as it echoed off the walls. Settling back down to his normal comfortable personality, Adam pulled one of the coffee cups from behind his back where he had been hiding them. “Do you want the coffee or not? If not…than more for me!” He proclaimed enthusiastically, taking a good sized sip so that he could hold it in his mouth letting the warmth trickle down his throat. “WOW! That is the BEST black coffee I’ve had in a long time!”  Adam sighed out as the steam from the hot beverage coiled out of his lips.

Through this entire show Adam studied the pale human before him and was ready when the young man lunged forward crying out “Just give it to me already!” Adam willingly placed the second cup into impatient hands and watched as it was consumed entirely in 2 huge gulps. His eyebrow rose in surprise as he wondered how many addictions the person in front of him could have.

Vaguely noticing the brown eyes drilling holes into his hand that held the cup he drank from, he slipped the cup over, lost in how desperate the situation was. Fumbling slightly his now empty hands searched the pockets of his leather jacket until his fingers curled around a caped syringe and a small unmarked bottle. Guilt flared in his chest, but right now the life slipping away in front of his eyes was more important than his position on the force. “Now give me your arm! Coffee may help your mind but this stuff is the only thing that’s going to keep your heart beating. Unfortunately…” Adam steeled himself and administered a dose of his own home made heroin. 

 

 


	6. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! There is a time jump of two weeks for this chapter... but it should be easy to follow!
> 
> Also sorry I was not able to get the entire chapter up.... kinda tired after driving 15hrs today....

TPOV

Somehow 2 weeks passed... apparently longshanks (I never did manage to figure out the bastards name, and I got the feeling he just didn't care about mine.) had been hooking me up with a home made mixture of heroin and some sort of slight muscle relaxer. I spent the majority of the time in a high sleepy haze, hardly aware that the time was slipping past. The only markers in my day was when he visited ever morning and night. 

Apparently he had been weaning me off the drugs as Monday rolled around, I was feeling better but was still suffering from the side effects. I would be going into the trial completly drug free as that was one of the requirements. No one could enter with out being fully inspected for drugs in or on their person. I was a bundle of nerves, I really didn't want to be present for this interigation. And it so would be a god damn interigation.

My insomnia had been acting up so it was hours before anyone was going to come and get me. So I settled for running through all the potential questions I would no doubt be asked and the various outcomes. Everything looked bleak, no matter how I tried to look at it, this trial was a hopeless situation and I would be lucky not to get a life sentence. Not that I had done anyting truly serious, but people seemed to have some kind of prejudice against me. 

Finally the time came for me to be transported to the court house and apparently one guy who was barely 21years old, hardly awake with tremors running painfully through his body needed 4 escorts to get through the station and into the back of a police car. I was crammed in the middle of the back seat in-between two other officers, while the other two sat comfortably in the front seats. 

15 very uncomfortable minutes later I was roughly pushed through the doors of the old court house, and stuffed into a cold windowless room. It felt like forever before I was shown into the actual court room for my trial. They sat me down in a chair beside the judge’s stand and chained my hands to the desk, and feet to the chairs legs.

The thought of the building catching fire with me chained in such a fashion, had an evil smirk crossing my face. If I burned to death here with no escape than my life would be so much simpler! The morose idea was pushed from my mind as people streamed into the room taking seats in the audience, followed by the jury.

Looking out at the people wishing for my incarceration, I recognized quite a few faces as apparently half the department had shown up. If someone didn’t have to watch out for the district I would assume every officer in the department would have shown up to laugh and sneer in my face.

 But there was one face that I did not see, not that I was actually specifically looking for him... NO…I mean come on! There is absolutely no reason what so ever for me to feel…I don’t even know what! Placing my head in my hands I groaned to myself. Why the fuck did it bother me that he was not here?

“Fuck you longshanks!” I cursed out pulling on my bangs, that had grown long and wild. As soon as the words slipped from my mouth I realized that the room had fallen deathly quiet. Cautiously lifting my head just enough to peer through my blond fringe. I cringed at the sight that met my chocolate brown eyes.

The captain was standing right in front of me glaring down from his high horse. Apparently my voice had carried farther than I thought. The entire room was watching our confrontation. “You are in a COURT ROOM Mr. Ratliff, sitting in a very precarious seat! You would do well to remember that, and refrain from such vulgar language. And who is this Longshanks person?”

I hung my head in mock embarrassment, while inside I was seething! How could he call me out in such a way? The entire room already knew what I had let slip…but did they really need to hear the sneer and obvious attempt to undercut my intellect, by talking to me as if I was a disobedient child?! I only shrugged in answer to his question. There was no way that I would let anyone know I was disappointed with the fact that a certain person was missing from the room. Once the chief realized that was all the answer he was going to get he snorted and went back to his seat.

My brooding was interrupted when I realized that all the eyes in the room were following my every movement. I squirmed uncomfortably under all the attention. Most of the people were quiet clear with their dislike for me, and were clearly wishing for my death or a life sentence with all of the anger, death glares, and loathing, spewing from their every pore, while the rest were carefully schooling their expressions into blank masks. The feeling that I would drown under all the hate pushed in my direction caused me to splutter and seethe, quite sure that my crimes did not even remotely compare to the hell they put me in.

Fuck if I had killed someone, or committed a terrorist attack, or something then Hell Yea! But seriously…a few stolen cars, shop lifting, caring a concealed weapon, and dealing drugs. Fuck I even went out of my way make sure to only supply those of age even though I was mostly underage. Yea I had broken a few laws, gotten into a few scrapes…had some fun, faced down death…but mother fucker! I did not deserve all the crap that was and would be sent my way today.

Suddenly I felt the eyes leave me and looked up now that I was free from their vicious invading stares. But I still hid my face under my fringe, as I watched the doors swing open in a grand controlled manor and in swept a tall man who swiftly swept down the center isle and came to stand in front of his chair behind his podium, dais thing.

 (What? I never thought I would need to know the specifics of a court room because I would never be in one, but apparently I was horridly wrong. Although I am still proud that I never actually learned any of this useless information, the law was never on your side no matter if you are innocent or not!)

 Once the Judge was at his position of power in the room (with a bastard of a smirk gracing his features) everyone was commanded to rise. There was a lot of movement and shuffling as everyone hurried to stand and respectfully wait for the Judge to seat himself before returning to their seats. As I was still chained to my seat and no one came to release my hands, I could only sit and take pride in the fact that I was blatantly being disrespectful, but since there was nothing else I could do, no one had the right to bitch me out about it! (Haha I WIN!)

Amid my smug satisfaction I questioned the fact that everyone had not been told to rise before the Judge entered? (What! I do watch TV you know… I am not completely stupid! Fuck I was bound to pick up a few facts with all my sleepless nights!)

My musing was cut short as the trial quickly got underway. They stated all of my crimes, all the known places I had lived over the years. (I was greatly amused to find that they only had half of the places I had lived in. Apparently their Intel gathering techniques had some major flaws!) Sweeping right into how I was captured and arrested, up to the current point in time. But then they back tracked and started digging.

I had not noticed the balding man with a pinched mouth and overlarge glasses sitting in the crowd until he was asked to the stand. The FUCKERS had brought in my bloody middle school asshole of a psychologist. Shit I was in real trouble now! I knew they would badger me, but I was now where at all prepared to grudge up the past wounds that had ripped my soul to shreds.

The actions that this man would present to the gathered group were things that I had buried and hoped that no one else would find out about. He only knew because the fucking hospital had released my files thinking it best if someone helped me deal with the trauma.

All that had done was to keep the cursed actions burning at the front of my mind, causing me to develop insomnia, depression, and my addiction to heroin, along with all my crimes. Fat lot of good that man ever did me! If anything I would say he only made it fucking worse, making me relive it over and over again!

His first questions were simple. Like what’s my name, birthday, did I remember him, etc. But then he just dived right in and asked the whammy…the  question that was at the heart of all my issues.

“Were or weren’t you raped at the age of 13 by both your aunt and father after which they proceeded to drugged you with a fatal dose of ecstasy in the hopes you would not remember?”

Just as the mother fucker that I really wanted to kill at the moment finished the question that filled me with long suppressed horror, the doors suddenly were thrown forcefully open, accompanied by a voice that was entirely too familiar shouting “Brad!”

 Longshanks strode purposefully into the room with some other man following closely behind him. His eyes were glued to the judge with a fire burning in their depths.  He was dressed in his uniform, but somehow it was more formal. His badge shining proudly over his chest, pants pressed until the creases were permanent, his shoulders held poised and proper.

It was like looking at an entirely different person, but what threw his image off was how he addressed the judge. “Brad!” he called out again, “Sorry I’m late… had to pick Sutan up and he was a right bastard this morning!” At this the man behind him huffed out annoyed, the crowd gave a very shocked gasp, while the judges mouth twitched before he got himself under control and responded.

 “Adam! You are in my court room and have rudely interrupted a trial. Please contain yourself or I will have you removed! Do you understand?” The judge stated. But it was obvious that he was struggling to keep a straight face as Longshanks, no, Adam’s face fell in mock embarrassment just as I had done earlier. But when he looked up he had a smile that could scare the dead plastered on his face.

The judge, Brad apparently, took the look in stride as if it did not affect him. I was impressed to say the least… the look had not been directed at me but I found myself trembling against the chair the links of chain clinking together. “Adam, please find a seat so that we can proceed and make sure that Sutan stays close.” Brad ordered.

I looked up at him in time to see him smirk before opening his mouth again as Adam and Sutan found seats. Just as they were about to sit down Brad interjected “Ohh and Adam… you still have some glitter in your hair!”

Adam gracefully sat down in his seat then sent a glare at the Judge, and I swear if looks could kill Brad would be bleeding from his eyes right now and be dying a painfully slow death! But all he said in response was “Brad I do believe that just seconds ago you reminded me that we are indeed in a COURT ROOM and the proper conduct is needed. Also as I am not on trial, nor on the witness stand you have no right to comment on my appearance.”

Shock rolled in waves through my body. I had never heard Adam’s voice take on such a sharp edge before. He was in complete control, his presence filling the room, and his words made the temperature in the room drop immensely as every word was filled with a cold commanding air that could not be ignored. It was like I had been doused with a bucket of ice water that soaked my very soul.

My vision had tunneled down to only see Adam, the rest of the room a black blur; so I noticed the small almost unnoticeable gesture that was aimed at the judge as he pretended to fix the tie of his companion. Adam saw that I noticed his action and sent a joyful flashing smile in my direction. Seeing Adam flipping the Judge off, like it was noting and was something he did on a regular basis and that intoxicating smile brought my body back up to a normal warm temperature.

“Thank fuck!” I whispered out as my body slowly started to stop shaking with uncontrollable shivering. Suddenly the eyes of the Judge were on me, blatantly chuckling at my response. But he hid his amusement by repeating the question that was asked before Adam stormed in.

Hearing the question again sent another wave of fear shuddering through me. My eyes widened in panic as I knew I had to answer the question. They were digging into very distraught memories that I had suppressed quiet successfully, until they started picking through my past, like it was just an interesting story.

 Fucking nosy bitches! I thought to myself. Why did they have to bring in the damn psychologist from my middle school? The question was presented again as though I had not heard it the first two times.

“Were or weren’t you raped at the age of 13 by both your aunt and father after which they proceeded to drugged you with a fatal dose of ecstasy in the hopes you would not remember?” The psychologist asked.

A hush fell over the room…no one was expecting the question and now that everyone was back on task, they were all shocked that it was a legitimate question. Why I have no fucking idea…but the denial that filled the room was tangible and caused the memories and pain to explode out of the box I had hidden them in.

The quiet was broken as I fell apart into hysterics, clawing at any of my flesh that I could reach, inflicting long bloody gouges. Trying to get the current pain to a level that would overwhelm the memories, but it was not nearly enough! I felt like I was dying, my soul ripping apart along the somewhat healed scars back into its unrecognizable fragments.  

My first scream ripped apart my vocal cords with its force, causing the rest of my screams to become only hoarse whispers. My mind closed in on itself…sinking into the pool of agonizing torcher. That’s all there was… just a pain more unimaginable than death itself. 


	7. Adam Plans a Risky Move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, this was originally supposed to be all one chapter to correspond with Tommy's POV with the trail, but Adam decided that he had a lot of things that he needed to get done. So I am having to split it in half...
> 
> So I know that quite a few of you are reading this which makes me very happy! But I would like to know what is running through your heads when you read this story. Please leave some comments so that I know what you guys like, or don't, and it will help me give the story a more precise direction. 
> 
> Thanks!

APOV

Somewhere along the way the small blond addict had grown on me. Fuck, why did this case have to remind me so much of myself? I tried to stay out of it and not let the young man affect me, but I should have known as soon as I brought my personal heroin into the mix that it was a losing battle. 

My inner turmoil grew as the days slipped by, it was my job to give the felon his twice daily fix and I could see the awareness seeping back into his heroin glazed eyes. This kid was in some serious trouble, my concoction of heroin was doing its job, but a bit too well.

My mixture was mostly a placebo, but was spiked with a gram of pure heroin which was so concentrated that it allowed the body to satisfy its craving while keeping the mind from being affected. But the better it worked, the more addicted that person was to start with.  In my experience with the shit, it had taken me a full month of processing the mixture until my mind was totally free again.

I had some major issues, and I was dosing heroin like it was candy. I had no idea how this small person could be so addicted to the shit that it would only take 2 weeks for his mind to become fully functioning again. It had me very concerned, but I was still very conflicted on what to do about the entire issue. My mind was going in so many circles that I avoided coming into more contact with him than needed.  My mind had turned traitor and I really didn’t need my heart to also.

By the time the trial had rolled around and I only had the weekend left, I was pulling my hair out by the chunks.  I knew what I wanted to do, but was still fighting with myself.  This battle was savage and continuously raging around my mind, but at this point my heart had finally decided to step in and was attacking my logic with a vengeance.

Late Friday night my decision was made for me. One of the nightly guards had come down with a very nasty stomach bug, and as everyone was spread thin he was the only one watching the station. So Chief called me in and now I was sitting in the black chair sitting in the semi-darkness of the station waiting impatiently for morning to arrive. 11pm rolled around and my legs needed a stretch, so I got up and started walking the station inspecting every section until I came upon my real charge for the night.

Watching the small form sleep, my heart finally won out over logic and I was sent scrambling back to the main floor, slipping and sliding on the waxed floor. When I was at my desk with the phone in my hand I realized that it was actually almost midnight and there was almost no way for me to do anything now. Frowning I changed tactics and made a beeline for the filing cabinet in Chief’s office, franticly searching for the R’s.

Ratliff, Ratliff, Ratliff I chanted under my breath, eventually my fingers pulled a folder out and flung it onto the desk. Catching my breath I just stared at the thick Manila paper with bold print across the top. **CASE FILE TJR**. Did I really want to do this? Do I really want to be responsible for an unstable person who could drag me back down? My heart gave one last very tight squeeze and I almost though that it stopped on me.

Running my hand through my hair I flipped the file open and searched for the paper that had the information on who would be residing over the trial. Fingers and eyes both flying across the page, searching, until a huge smile graced my face and my cell was to my ear in record time.

The line rang and rang and rang… “FUCK!” I cursed out, seconds later a new number was pulled forth and was ringing in my ear. “Hey! Mia where the fuck is Sutan? … WHAT! He is where??? What is he doing? I need him now and it’s an emergency! How can I get ahold of him, do you have a number? …Thanks Mia!”

I glanced down at the scribbled number on my left hand, a smirk edging into my eyes as I punched it in and waited. When a person on the other end answered I groaned. “Raja… I should have known when I couldn’t reach Sutan. Seriously do you really need to use two different cell numbers?”

A bright laugh danced in my ear “Yes of course baby! It may be the same body but sure as hell is not the same person! Can’t have people calling for Raja and getting Sutan’s billion questions and no nonsense better spill your guts compassion. Seriously Adam, you should know better by now. Mamma Raja is fun and wild, while Sutan is calm, loving and can handle serious situations.”

Rolling my eyes and letting out a sigh, “Exactly Raja! Sutan can handle the sticky situations and he is who I need right now.”

“Baby you need to lighten up! Its Friday night and you should be here at the club partying with me!” Raja declared.

“Dimmit Raja!” I hissed out, “Fine go have your fun, but make sure Sutan give me a call early tomorrow morning. Do whatever you have to to make sure it happens even if it means not getting completely hammered tonight! I fucking need Sutan ASAP!”

“Adam honey, please stop yelling in my ear! Sutan already knows and will call you around 8am.ok?

Hearing Raja’s concern I finally felt the fight drain out of me and slumped into the chief’s chair. “Yea ok, thanks Raja….sorry for yelling, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Don’t apologize baby! You know I love you, just be safe ok… ohh got to run, I will talk to you later. Bye!”

As the line went dead I knew that Sutan would be calling in the morning in a full blown panic attack… I had not treated Raja  in such a disrespectful way since my own days of addiction.

I let my phone slip from my hands and fall to the desk top. Time had no meaning as I stared at the file the initials TJR burning into my retina. Finally I got up the file held tightly in my shaking hands as I went over to the copier and slowly fed the machine all of the documents clutched in my hand.

After it spit out the last sheet I checked the file to make sure everything was back where it was supposed to be, then I did it again, and again, and again. It was in the middle of another needless check that my phone buzzed in my pocket. 

Digging it out Mia’s name flashed across the screen with a text message that said _Adam, what did you say to Raja? She has been sending me nonstop texts about you going crazy on her. Please don’t do anything stupid ok! 12:15pm_

Snorting at her plea of “don’t do anything stupid” cuz yea I was doing exactly that! I headed back to the chief’s office and returned the original file while grabbing a new folder that would hold my copy. Then walking back I gathered up the still warm paper and organized it to my liking, now I had all the information I could possibly need to make my own case for this kid.

Dragging a chair with me I made my way down the hall and to his cell. Sagging down into the seat I flipped to the first page and found his name. Tommy Jo Ratliff. “Well at least your name fits you, a cute name for a small cute person.” I mumbled out as he started to stir and rolled over on his side so that his face was softly lit my moonlight. “Shit! Did I actually say that out loud? Fuck I need to watch what I say, good thing he is still asleep.” I quietly chastised myself.

 I must have fallen asleep right there in the chair, because I was started awake by the guys that would take over the regular morning shift yelling my name.

“ADAM! ADAM! AADDDAAAAMMMMM! Fuck, where is that guy? He had better not have left the station early and unlocked!” I heard Jeff curse out.

“Son-of-a Bitch!” Tommy’s folder was still clenched tightly in my hand and slightly crinkled from being slept on. I had to hide it and fast! “Hey Jeff!” I yelled out “Did you really expect me to just walk out of here with everything wide open to get coffee or something?  Seriously dude, I thought you knew me better than that by now!” Cringing while the words left my mouth, as no one at the station really knew anything at all about me.

“Shit Adam, don’t scare me like that! Hey why is the chief’s chair missing?” As Jeff’s words reached my ears I scrambled to the next cell over wrenching the door open and slipping the folder under the mattress.

A hollow laugh forced its way out as I grabbed said chair and started to drag it back to its proper home. “Yea got bored last night so thought I would keep the prisoner company. Not that he needed it as he was asleep, but he did frighten me a few times. Seems like he is a very light sleeper and likes to roll around a lot!” I stated as I walked past Jeff and hefted my leather jacket over my shoulder.

“Yea sure, if you say so! Go get some sleep man, you look like shit!” Jeff yelled out the door as I unlocked my car. Sending him a half-assed flick of my hand, I closed the door and backed out of the space. 

I made it home in record time, yea it was 6am and not much traffic but still, the normally 15 minute drive was cut down to 8 minutes, would have been sooner if not for the damn stop lights! Jamming the rebelling transmission into park, I raced up the steps and body checked into the solid unyielding front door that my mind had unfortunately forgotten was locked.

 I fell hard on my backside quickly grabbing onto the railing so as to not fall down the stairs.  Hoisting myself up from the ground, one hand jugged the keys into the lock while the other firmly tried to rub the sting out of my ass as I finally made it through the threshold. 

Once inside I traipsed into the kitchen rummaging through the cabinets and fridge until I had the counters covered. A mug for coffee, skillet, spatula, bacon, eggs, bread, orange juice, plate, fork, spoon, paper, pen, and ice cream. Looking at my spread I frowned, something was missing, trying to figure out what I had forgotten. I turned to the coffee maker and got it started. The noise that suddenly filled the kitchen kick started my brain and I ran out of the room.

Franticly digging through the couches cushions, and coming up with nothing, I moved on to the chair, still nothing… frustration rising I swept my hand underneath and finding an old bear bottle, reminded me that I had not checked under the couch. Quickly crawling across the room ass in the air as I tried to peer under the large piece of furniture, I managed to sweep out my spare set of keys, another empty bottle,  a box of condoms, and…

“AH- HA!” I yelled out as my fingers brushed against the remote. Scrambling backwards I somehow managed to whack my head HARD on the frame. Groaning, I switched on the TV and quickly turned on my favorite playlist. Humming along with the song I reached the counter and quickly grabbed the ice cream container and gently placed it on the large bump forming on the back of my head.

 An hour later, with my 6th cup of orange juice in hand, the empty plate forgotten on the side, I studied the list I had before me.

Things To Do Before Tommy’s Trial!

1)    Study his file and learn what can be used for leverage.

 ~~2)~~ ~~Make sure I am well dressed for the occasion~~

3)    Get ahold of Sutan and get him to help

4)    Figure out who will be the presiding judge of the trial

 ~~5)~~ ~~Make sure that none of the other officers come to the trail~~ (So not possible!) ~~~~

6)    Gain Tommy’s trust

7)    Get the chief to give me off the day (should be easy cuz I took the shift last night!)

8)    ~~Make sure Sutan is on time!~~ (Ugg why am I even trying?)

9)    Do anything else I can think of to make this work!

“Yup there is a lot I have to do this weekend… bloody hell! It’s the weekend! Fuck! Hope I have enough strings to pull to!” I mumbled to myself as my phone started ringing.

“Yea” I answered not really thinking about who could be on the other end…

“Fuck Adam! Get off your lazy ass and open the god dam door already! I’ve been pounding on it for the last 5 minutes!” Sutan bellowed into my ear! “And where the devil did you put your spare key…?”

Laughing I responded “Hello Sutan! Yea sorry about the key… found them earlier the chair earlier! Forgot to put them back out.”

“Obviously! Now let me in so that I can properly yell at you for being a TOTAL BITCH to Raja last night!” Sutan hissed out!

Hanging up before Sutan could completely blow my ear drums out, I hardly got the door unlocked before he barreled inside. Anger completely contradicting the beautiful features of his face, and the artistic touches he had done expertly with some light makeup.

Sutan’s eyes locked on the piece of paper that I had made my list on and snatched it from my hand, his gaze dancing quickly over what I had written, a smirk brightening his face before he could stop it. “Is this Tommy boy the reason why you are in such a tizzy baby?” he asked. “Cuz just from his horrible mug shot I can tell that he has a breath taking face!” the words that slipped out next well… “What I would do to get him under my talented fingers!” Sutan breathed to himself.  

Next thing I knew my hand was covering Sutan’s mouth… my hard stare daring him to keep talking! “Did you manage to read why he was locked up?” I questioned. The answer was obvious when Sutan’s eyes narrowed and quickly skimmed through the report searching for what he had missed that would have upset me so much. I knew instantly when he figured it out as his eyes stopped moving and his body became ridged under my hand which was still clamped securely over his mouth.

He looked up at me with hard eyes but I watched them quickly soften and backed away to give him some room.

“Sutan…I need a room at your FAA group home.” Hearing this Sutan burst out…

“Adam I can’t believe you! Are you seriously telling me that you are using again?” I quickly silenced him by clamping my hand over his mouth again and shaking my head.

 “Please, I know that you always keep that one room free, half my crap is still there you know! The situation as you can see from the file is very serious. You remember how I was right?” He nodded his affirmative as I dropped my hand. “Well, imagine me twice as bad and then you will have a good idea of all the issues that we will be fighting with.” 

At my last statement Sutan’s jaw dropped and he stumbled to the couch almost falling over as he processed all that I said. Sitting down beside him I gently tapped his chin reminding him that he was gaping like a fish. “Sutan…Please, if this doesn’t happen.”  I took a deep breath to settle myself, “If this doesn’t happen than another life will be claimed.”

“Ok, Adam, Ok. Do you want us to start working on getting your stuff out and back to you?” Sutan asked.

“No I’m not worried about my stuff, if anything it will probably be good for him. Plus there is not enough time for that.”  I confessed.

The incredulous look that crossed Sutan’s face made me burst out laughing. “Adam! What do you mean NOT enough TIME!”  Sutan panicked “What the fuck have you gotten yourself into this time?”

“Not what I have gotten myself into, but what I placed myself in, Sutan, and I only have 36 hours left to get my plan into action and you are one of the key players, as I need to have a doctor on my side!.... Fuck I still have so much to do! Sutan I need your answer now so that I can continue to get my fantastic plan together!” I pleaded but also half demanded.

“Fine, Fine, Fine!” Sutan snapped “I will make sure everything is ready for you, I’m sure you will want me at the trial… when is it?”

 

 

“8am Monday morning I will pick you up so don’t worry about that!” I cheerfully replied as I waved him out the door. “Bye Sutan!”

Half an hour later I was parked in front of the court house. Wondering if this was really a good idea or not. But I had to know what judge I would be dealing with in order to plan out the rest of my defense.  Plus I needed to grab my file and a few others, to use as examples for the success of the program.

 Gathering myself together I got out of the car and headed into the building. The receptionist at the desk was an old underappreciated grandma who looked like dooms day was today, and she was just waiting to be struck down.  I quickly waked up before I lost my nerve. “Excuse me Miss. I was wondering if you would be willing to tell me who the presiding judge would be over the Ratliff case on Monday morning?” I asked as nicely as I could, trying to look curious and innocent, someone that she would not instantly yell at… I hoped!  

Glancing up from the computer screen she narrowed her eyes at me as the wheels turned in her head. Obviously trying to decide if I was worthy of an answer or not.  I simply stood there as quietly as I could without looking to uncomfortable with the intense staring gaze boring its way into my head.

Eventually she let her gaze drop and pounded away on the keys, the silence that suddenly reigned was defining. She was still mesmerized with the screen but a soft voice tumbled from her lips. “Judge Brad Bell will be overseeing the trial for Mr. Ratliff.”  At her words my eyes lit up and a huge smile graced my features.

“Really? Thanks so much for your help! You have just made my day! Really you have!” I shouted as I bounced back out the doors. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a tiny smile brighten her face as she watched my excited antics exit the building.

Checking the time I gave a whoop, putting my lead foot to good use as I raced toward the other side of LA where I knew I could find Brad still tucked away in bed.  20 minutes later I was pounding on the door, almost breaking it down in my hurry, before I finally heard the lock turn. wrenching the door open I launched myself into Brad’s unsuspecting arms. “Brad!” I cooed out, “I am SOOOO happy you have no idea! I can hardly believe my luck!” I gushed out!

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Brad cursed out. “Who in the blazes are you?”

Taking a small step back to release Brad from my chokehold, I chuckled then placed a pout on my lips… “Brad! It’s Adam… I thought you were my best friend and would recognize me anywhere? I mean you should know everything about me! Are you telling me that you don’t recognize your best friend and former lover?” I whined out!

Finally my words and pout got through his still sleep hazed brain. “Adam…seriously do you know what time it is?” he chastised.

Laughing I returned the question. “Brad, do you know what time it is? It’s already 2pm. When did you get in last night? And speaking of in, are you going to let me in, or are you going to stay on your porch in broad daylight with nothing but your boxers on?” 

My laugh deepened as he blushed right down to his toes, grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house. I wandered into the living room while Brad went to get dressed. 5 minutes later he came back out with an old band tee and some sweats.

“So what do you want Adam? And what in the hell were you rambling on about earlier? Seriously dude you need to rein it in sometimes. Your energy is intoxicating and tiring at the same time. Ugg” Brad groaned out as he blinked into the sun.

“Ok Brad, I am for once seriously thankful for your incredibly crazy choice in careers. You are presiding over the Ratliff trail Monday morning, and you are going to help me get him the proper help he deserves. I can’t interfere much more with you as you are the JUDGE, but if you have questions call Sutan!”

“Wait” Brad spluttered, “Wait just a god damn second Adam! You know that I cannot bring any type of bias into the rulings. I will be kicked out and thrown into the slammer faster than you can reach your falsetto!” 

 

 

“Exactly!” I huffed out. “Which is why, I was only letting you know that there is going to be another option presented at the trial, and for you to give it proper consideration before ruling it out. Well I can see that you have a lot to think about so I will let you get back to your Saturday, but if you have any questions, like I said get ahold of Sutan. See ya Cheeks!”

The rest of the afternoon I ran around the house gathering up my formal uniform, and making the clothing red carpet ready. What? I take pride in my cloths! Once everything was perfect, I finally let myself collapse on my bed and quickly fell asleep.

“Adam! Adam! Adam! Fuck man why are you still in bed? And why were you not answering your phone?” Mia yelled into my ear!  

“Wah? Mia, leavemealone…” I mumbled out as I rolled over. I heard her huff in indignation and then my body was quickly exposed to the cold air and goosebumps instantly covered every exposed piece of skin.

Shivering I tugged the covers out of her hands, wrapping back up in them as I slunk into the bathroom. “Adam! Don’t you dare try to hide out in there, you slept for 18 hours you know!”

“Shit! Shit! Shit! Fuck! I’ve got to get ready and make sure Sutan was able to get everything done and see if Brad called him or not! Shit! WAIT… what time and day is it Mia?”

Her soothing voice gently answered, “It’s Sunday baby, and it’s a little after 4 pm.”

“WHAT! HOW THE FUCK DID I SLEEP SO LONG?” I trounced out of the bathroom to the bedside table, searching for my phone… panic rising when I could not find it anywhere. “Mia? Where is my phone? I need my phone! I can’t go without it, it contains my entire life! My schedule, pictures, numbers, everything!”

“Adam relax ok, don’t panic we will find it ok!” Mia said as she rubbed soothing circles into my back. “Go get dressed and I will look through the cloths you left on the floor alright!”

As I was getting ready to take a shower, I heard Mia’s phone go off. A minute later she was pounding on the door. “Adam I found your phone its dead so I’m going to plug it in for you. I have to go through…. So give me a call later ok!”

“OK” I called back, “Thanks!”

The hot water massaging my tired body was irresistible, and I ended up lingering longer in the shower than normal. Finally I told myself that I had to get out and face the real world again, plus if I didn’t call Mia soon she would come over and drag me out of the house stark naked! The thought sent shivers of horror up my spine!  Firmly wrapping a towel around my waist, I sauntered back into my bedroom and picked up my phone. Apparently it had run out of battery soon after I fell asleep because it was exploding with texts and messages.  

About half of them were from Mia when she was trying to find me, there were a few texts and a message from Sutan saying that everything had been completed and would be ready for me whenever. And the last message was from a very cranky Brad, who in between all the death threats said that he had talked to Sutan and was prepared for the new possible solution that I wanted to present to the court.

Listening to all of my close friends worry about me and their unconditional support left me feeling very loved and satisfied. I suddenly wanted to go out and I knew exactly who would go out with me the second I ask… unlocking my phone I hit Sutan’s number and soon had plans to meet up with him at a nearby coffee shop.

I was so excited after hanging up with Sutan that I almost forgot that I still was only wearing a towel. Cursing my exuberance, I found a tight dark blue tee, pulled on my favorite pair of leather pants along with my knee high boots. Grabbing my keys and leather jacket I raced out the door.

I was obviously early getting to the shop, but was happy to order and wait for Sutan to arrive. About half way through my second cup of tea I felt a hand settle on my shoulder and a voice whisper in my ear, “Adam honey…you do realize that you made it out of the house with a blank slate right?”

“Really? Ohh well that’s what you are for Sutan!” I grinned out turning around to face him I added “Let’s go have some fun!”


	8. A Blue Fire Burns

APOV

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz…..Buzz, Buzz, Buzz…..Buzz, Buzz, “Fuck Ok! Jeeze!” I complained as my hand snuck out of the covers and slammed into the incredibly annoying alarm clock.  Once the buzzing stopped I let out a deep breath and rolled back over, pulling the blankets back over my head, and letting my eyes close again. Just as I was drifting back off halfway into a dream already, Tommy decided to dance behind my eyelids.

 Realization hit hard and I bolted upright, flinging the covers aside, snatching up the clock and inspecting it for the time. It took a second for my sleep filled eyes to focus on the red blinking numbers. 6:15am… Groaning as a throbbing pain started pounding away at my head. I still had a little time, so I blindly stumbled to the kitchen, the rising sun doing nothing to help my current condition. I grabbed a random bottle from the shelf, and then proceeded to make my way to the bathroom.   

Striping off my dirty clubbing cloths that, never made it off last night, I turned on the shower, making sure the temperature was as cold as it would get before I quickly jumped under the spray before I could really think about what I was doing. Gasping as the freezing water chilled my body instantly; I reached out and snagged the bottle I had left on the counter. I really never looked at the label before I tossed my head back and let the liquid slide down and the aftermath burn its way back up, as I exhaled.

“Fuck, should have known it would be some kind of fruity tequila.” I grumbled out. Usually a small amount of hard liquor would be enough to balance my body back out after a hard night of drinking, but the flowery shit I had in my hands, would take a lot more than a few small sips to get me back to proper focus.

I had almost forgotten that I was standing under the icy spray, but my body started to shiver violently, muscles clenching and locking into place as the chill settled into my bones. It took a minute, but I finally coxed my muscles into relaxing enough to flip the handle over to hot, and as the water warmed up, my tired and abused muscles turned into jelly forcing me to slide down the wall and just sit.

Stumbling out of the bathroom blinded by the first towel I was using to fluff my hair, while the second was wrapped around my waist; my feet directed me into the large walk in closet, where I swiftly dropped both towels and slipped into the uniform I had left out yesterday. Dressed I walked back into the main bedroom, grabbing my phone. It was 7am, man I spent a lot more time in the shower than I thought!

Typing in my 4 digit passcode and sliding my thumb across the screen I unlocked my phone. Searching the contacts until I found Sutan’s number and hitting send as I entered the kitchen. While the phone rang I picked out all the fruit I could find in the fridge and Greek yogurt, and went about making myself a parfait. Finally after calling a second time Sutan picked up.

“Hello?” came his very sleepy greeting…

“Sutan. Hey it’s Adam, just making sure that you were up because you need to be at the trial this morning! Lol and by the sound of your voice it’s a good thing I called, I will be over to get you around 8:30 so we will make it for 9am.”

“Ok, ok, right gotta go to the trial, right. 9am gotta be there.” Sutan’s sleep filled brain spewed back.

“Right! Ok see you in an hour and a half!” I said “Ohh and make sure you get up right NOW! Ok you need to be ready when I come and get you!” I reminded him.

“Jeeze ok Adam, let me get up already!” Sutan replied before hanging up on me.

“Well I hope he is really getting up!” I said to myself as I mixed the parfait together and brought a spoonful to my mouth.  ______________________________________________________________________________

As 8:30 rolled around I was at the door of Sutan’s townhouse, with my phone ringing in my ear, trying to get Sutan to answer the door. Five minutes later, after calling him 15 times and pounding on the door till my hand was red and sore, I finally remembered where he kept the spare key. Walking back down the steps and to the gate I counted 6 rungs to the left and reached down finding the key under the black metal that rested against the ground. Getting the door open and pocketing the key, I searched the house until I found Sutan sound asleep.

“Damn it Sutan! Why are you still sleeping?” I bellowed at him, which made him jump and crash to the floor. Watching as he tried to free himself from the tangle of covers I got impatient and pulled them off, grabbing his hand and pushing him into the shower, cloths and all, then with a flick of my hand had the cold water soaking him.

“Shit! Fucking cold!” Sutan screamed as he jumped back trying to escape the shocking spray.

“That’s what you get for not getting up when I asked you to about 2 hours ago now!” I deadpanned.

“What? You called me? The last time I remember talking to you was last night after you dropped me off.” He shot back as he turned the cold water off, before standing there dripping as he pealed his cold shirt off his body.

“Yes I did! Should have known that you were only sleep talking! Shit! Hurry up and finish your shower, we supposed to be there at 9 and since its 9am now we are going to be late! Hurry up!” I commanded, as I pulled the curtain closed before he could get any further with his skin clinging sleep pants. There are some things in this world that are not necessary to see, and Sutan completely naked was one of them!

20 minutes later I had gathered together a suitable outfit, and had gotten breakfast prepared. Fed up with Sutan moving at a snail’s pace, I located a towel, holding it up so that it was blocking my vision before braving the bathroom again. The shower was still on, so draping the towel over my head I reached in and shut the water off. “Adam…I still have soap suds in my hair!” Sutan complained.

“Fine, one more minute, and then you are coming out. I don’t care if you are still covered in soap. One minute Sutan!” I growled out.

A minute later Sutan was wrapping himself in the towel that had been covering my head, while I had one hand covering my eyes as I retreated back to the kitchen.

Five minutes later Sutan graced me with his fully dressed person, and sat down to eat. While he daintily picked at his eggs and bacon, I was impatiently checking my phone’s clock every few seconds, hoping that some miracle would happen and that we would go back in time and arrive at 9am when we were supposed to.

“Are you almost ready? I questioned as Sutan got up and placed the dishes in the sink. 

“Almost baby, just got to put my face on… and so do you baby! I will not let you walk out of this house looking like that!” Sutan exclaimed.

Sighing I let him lead me to the vanity in his room, I did win a small feat when I managed to talk him out of the works, (as we were going to a trail, not a club.) and he settled with just adding mascara and eyeliner to my base coat I had put on earlier to hide my freckles. Then when satisfied with me, did the same to his face.

We finally made it to the court house around five minutes before 11am. I was seething with the fact that we had missed 2 hours of the trial, it was useful information that I could have potentially used to strengthen my case, but no…Sutan had to sleep and be soo slow!

After bickering pointlessly with the receptionist, we were finally let in, and what an entrance we made! I figured that since we were late already why not make our presence know, rather than trying to sneak in and gain a roving wall of suspicion as everyone no doubt would notice and ask questions.

Striding up to the double doors I took a deep breath, told Sutan to stay close and follow my lead. Then I flung both doors open, taking a long stride into the room before yelling “Brad!” continuing down the aisle as I spoke, “Brad! Sorry I’m late… had to pick Sutan up and he was a right bastard this morning!” Behind me I could tell Sutan did not like my explanation, as he huffed his displeasure, but the rest of the audience gave a very pleasing gasp as I informally addressed the judge. Brad for his part only hinted at a smile, already knowing what game I was playing with my entrance.

Brad was willing to play along but he was still the judge and had to have some semblance of order in his court thus his reprimand was expected. “Adam! You are in my court room and have rudely interrupted a trial. Please contain yourself or I will have you removed! Do you understand?” I let my face fall into a mask of embarrassment as his words hit me, but as I hung my head I could see that he was having issues containing his laughter. Shaking my head in an imperceptible manor I picked up my no nonsense hardened smile and lifted my head back up to Brad, meeting his gaze.   

 I should have known that Brad would be immune to all of my expressions by now, but I could tell that it did make an impression on the people around me who could. Hearing a metallic clinking sound I glanced over and saw that Tommy was bewildered by my expression and a flicker of doubt flashed through my eyes, but I had to hold it in place. Then Brad distracted me by opening his mouth, “Adam, please find a seat so that we can proceed and make sure that Sutan stays close.” he ordered. I gladly complied and went to find an open spot with two seats. As we were sitting down Brad just had to open his big mouth again, “Ohh and Adam… you still have some glitter in your hair!”

Closing my eyes and willing myself to have patience, I settled into my chair and then struck Brad with my death glare, as I responded sharply, “Brad I do believe that just seconds ago you reminded me that we are indeed in a COURT ROOM and the proper conduct is needed. Also as I am not on trial, nor on the witness stand you have no right to comment on my appearance.” I could feel the atmosphere darken as people’s brains caught up with my reprimand. I let everyone shiver in the hostility before I decided I my point had reached Brad, and then promptly flipped Brad the bird, as I discreetly tried to cover it as fixing Sutan’s tie.

To my great amusement Tommy seemed to have picked up on my friendly gesture, and must have mumbled something that made Brad struggle not to laugh again. As the rest of the court noticed Brad’s smile they settled down, and finally everyone was ready to proceed.

My attention was caught as I saw Brad’s eyes harden and focus completely on Tommy, when an older balding man with glasses stepped forward. Then Brad obviously restated a previously asked question. “Were or weren’t you raped at the age of 13 by both your aunt and father after which they proceeded to drugged you with a fatal dose of ecstasy in the hopes you would not remember?”When it was clear that Tommy had not been paying attention, the older balding man lost his patience and asked the question again.

“Were or weren’t you raped at the age of 13 by both your aunt and father after which they proceeded to drugged you with a fatal dose of ecstasy in the hopes you would not remember?” The old guys voice grated on my nerves, kinda squeaky and wobbly. I instantly disliked him, but then the question actually processed in my mind. They were asking if the young adult before me chained to a desk had been raped by both his father and aunt. I could hardly believe what I was hearing!

When Brad had first restated the question, I had been too caught up in the expressions crossing Tommy’s face as he processed the question. His eyes widened, and I could see the wheels turning in his head trying to find a way out of answering. I really had not been paying enough attention and had missed the question that Brad asked, but when it was repeated again, and I had gotten over the annoying voice, I was shocked to finally understand what had Tommy internally panicking.

Apparently I was not the only one who needed to hear the question a second time to fully understand what was being asked, as the entire room suddenly went deathly quiet. All eyes on Tommy wondering how he would answer, but all hoping that it was not true waiting with baited breath for the answer everyone was not expecting from this trial and really didn’t want to hear.

All my focus was on Tommy, and his eyes were blown wide with panic, fingers clenching at nothing, before he went white as a sheet, then suddenly howled his pain, tears streaming quickly and freely down his face. But his face was soon hidden in his hands that were clawing into the flesh, creating great bloody furrows. His screams were at a pitch that immediately ripped through his vocal cords, causing the rest of his screams to be hoarse, spats of sound. Only seconds into the breakdown, his eyes were unrecognizable, and I knew that he mind was far past the help of a normal person, or even the professionals.  All I could do was watch as Tommy encased the small piece that was left of his rational mind into a tiny steal box while letting the pain ravage his body and soul.

I could feel the immense pain coming off Tommy in violent waves my body and mind easily picked up on the intense emotion and fed off it. Before I even knew what I was doing, my fury spiked, fuelled by Tommy’s pain. The entire room was in chaos, but as I swiftly reached my full height, the people in the room parted like the red sea. With the way clear, I strode slowly to the front of the room; my fury leaving me leaving a strange sense of calm determination, a hateful sneer graced my face and blue flames danced in my eyes as I reached the hysterical young man. Grabbing the chain connecting the cuff together I gently, a move that was completely opposite from the cold demeanor, pulled his hands away from his bloody face, in which they went straight to attacking his arms. Glancing up at Brad, I asked for the keys to release Tommy from his chains.

Brad just looked at me in shock as I asked him again for the keys, finally he motioned for the guard to release the prisoner. As soon as the chains were removed, and Tommy was freed, I tenderly pulled his flesh destroying hands around my neck where they continued to tear aggressively into my body. Pushing the pain to the side I slipped one hand around his shoulders and the other under his knees. Once I had a strong hold on his convulsing body I ran for the kitchen, demanding two oven mitts and some duct tape.

Once Tommy’s hands were safely rendered harmless, I pulled him back to my body and made my way back to the court room. By this time everyone was put back into their place by a congregation of guards. Sitting down in the same chair that Tommy had been sitting in I cradled him in my arms. He had stopped screaming at this point and was blankly staring out over the crowd. If I had not been holding him feeling the breath move in and out of his body and the small shudders that would wrack his body I would assume he had died.

It was not long before our presence was noticed. Once all eyes fell on us, and the chatter died down, Brad made his way over to me. “Hey are you alright Adam?” he asked as he inspected my bloodied neck.

“Well I do have blood running down the back of my shirt, but other than that I am perfectly fine!” I deadpanned. “Are you going to finish this trail or not? If we are going to finish, than I would expect that he be placed in my care, and if not than I will still be taking him off the governments hands. So one way or another, this distraught young man will get the help he needs, weather it’s through legal means or not! I suggest you make your decision quickly Brad!” I clipped out.

“Adam…get ahold of yourself man! This is not the place to threaten me, a judge, in the state court house, while surrounded by officers.” Brad tried to reason. Too bad I was not listening to reason at the moment. The fire still burned brightly in my eyes, and after I had seen the extent of the pain wrapped up in the small man in my arms, there was nothing that would stand in my way of providing the help and loving environment that this desperate soul craved. 


	9. Waking up in a strange place

TPOV

The pain was never ending…I sank far into the inner depths of my mind, trying to escape the cold seeping from the box of memories. I was lost to the conscious world, I had no idea what I was doing…my body was complete detached from my mind that was slowly unraveling. Opening my eyes all I could see was an endless white. There was no defining features, no horizon, no nothing. I was surrounded by solid white, my feet moving but going nowhere.

Spinning in circles I tried to find some form of…anything, I was completely lost. Spinning around again I found a small one-by-one blackened window, opening it I was assaulted as my eyelids opened and I found myself staring at a white ceiling that was slipping by. As I noticed the movement, the feeling of strong arms cradling my struggling body. I tried to move and get a glimpse of the person easily carrying me, but everything besides my eyes were beyond my control, and even as I thought about shifting my eyes I slipped back into the endless white.

Finding myself back in the strange mindscape I settled down to wait wishing I had a guitar to occupy my empty mind. I tried to sleep, but it seemed all that waiting was all I could do but nothing changed and time seemed irrelevant here. Suddenly the window was back and I could see my bloody hands being wiped clean then covered by cloth and taped on, but the scene was gone before I could fully process what I had seen.

Soon the white became too much and I closed my eyes trying to hide behind my lids, but it was like the insides of my eye lids were painted white, or that they were just see through, just continuous white.

As time had no meaning, I just sat, getting bored I decided to walk around to see if there were any walls to help me grasp the boundaries of white confining me. Finding that there was nothing, I broke into a run, trying to find an end. I ran until my lungs were going to explode, doubling over I tried to catch my breath closing my eyes I was surprised to find that it was dark. Opening my eyes again I found myself in a brightly lit room. Letting my eyes focus, I found myself facing a sea of hostile faces.

As everything came crashing back, I cringed backward against something warm. It was then that I realized that I was still being cradled and strong arms tightened around my shoulder and knees. Looking up I found the face of the person who was holding me. “Longshankes?” I whispered out, hearing my tired voice he looked down, the fire in his eyes was terrifying, but as blackness clouded my vision I saw how the fire calmed into simmering coals as he gave me a small smile.

Light was blinding me, and all I could see was white… panicking slightly as I remembered the endless mindscape, I opened my eyes, groaning loudly when sunlight assailed my vision. I quickly flipped an arm over my eyes, trying to block out the blinding whiteness. As my arm came to a rest covering my eyes, my hand was cushioned by something soft and fluffy. It was then that my hearing caught up with my surroundings, as I heard someone shuffling around then the metallic screech of heavy rings scraping against a metal bar.

As my curiosity got the best of my I peeked out looking around a strange room until I spotted a tall woman fiddling with a heavy set of dark red curtains making sure that all the light was being blocked out. Turning around I got a good look at her face as she walked over to the side of the bed and pulled my arm away from my face.

She was quite pretty, but there was something strange about her, something masculine. As my tired eyes found hers looking concernedly down at me I tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. “Baby you still look tired, go back to sleep, you are safe here.” She softly consoled. The voice didn’t quite seem to match her appearance, but at the same time it fit really well. As I tried to puzzle through this new question I fell back into a deep sleep.

Quiet voices reached my ears as I slowly climbed the long staircase back to the living world. Opening my eyes slowly I was surprised to find that the room was dark, the curtains and large windows were thrown open letting the dark sky brightened by the small spattering of stars and the soothing beams of the half-moon brighten the room.

A gentle breeze wafted through the room keeping the temperature reasonable, but it also carried the light scent of sea. Then my hearing caught up and the voices became clearer along with the sound of waves breaking on a beach.

Slowly I sat up using the numerous pillows around me to help prop up my drained body. As I got comfortable I inspected the two people quietly talking by the open windows. One was obviously male, and the other female. “…Yea I know, but it’s been 2 days, even with the shock it shouldn’t have caused his reaction to be so extreme.”

“But you must remember what this young man has gone through since he came to Adam’s attention. We have no idea what might be in his past, and emotional damage can be very debilitating. Not to mention the usage and the damage inflicted on the body by the excessive exposure. We really can’t do anything more to help him until his body heals enough for him to come around and still if he doesn’t want to get better…”

“But what about Adam, you know he will not be satisfied with this answer, heck I am hardly accepting what you are trying to say to me.”

The conversation was very convoluted and I really had no idea what they were talking about looking around I found a clock on the bedside table and it read 1am. “Fuck” the familiar response when I woke up in the middle of the night slipped past my lips “Fuck insomnia!”

Hearing my voice the two people quickly turned around, a glance was passed between the two before the woman walked out of the room, as the guy slowly approached the bed. He held his hands up and was very quiet in his movements obviously trying not to startle me. I scoffed as he asked to sit down on the edge of the bed, he froze at my action. Watching him I gave out another impatient huff then nodded as he still had not moved.

Getting the permission he requested, the man settled himself then gave me a very curious look. It seemed as though he was looking for something in my eyes as the look turned into a stare. Becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the silent questioning I cleared my throat and shifted into a more upright pose.

“Sorry…My name is Sutan. I am the main director and owner of this establishment. You are currently in a group home called the FAA or Free from Addiction Association.” As he saw my eyes widen in fear he was quick to continue and tried to console my fears. “Don’t worry you are safe here and are under a very watchful guardian, who surprisingly enough also spent the majority of last year here, recovering from a serious heroin addiction.”  

As I processed his words two different things warred for my attention. First I had heard this distinctive voice before, but it was clearly being used by a woman. Second was the puzzlement of who this unknown guardian was and why he had been here himself as a patient.

Sutan watched as the emotions flickered across my face waiting for me to grasp the information he had given me. When I looked back up at him he continued. “Mia, the woman who just left the room is now informing your guardian that you are awake, and I expect he will be here any minute, even though he easily lives half an hour away. He will be able to better answer your immediate questions.”

Sure enough a few minutes later I heard hurried footsteps, almost running down the hall, before finding the door and wrenching it open. A shocked cry left my lips as I recognized the man panting before me. But my shock was soon buried by hatred so strong that it almost knocked me back out. I opened my mouth, but all I did was splutter I was so angry that I didn’t know what to say first.

“Fucking HATE you!” I screamed out. After that the flood gates were open and everything just came spewing out. “You ruined my life! Fucking jumping after me off the roof! Dragging me into a cell to rot away the rest of my life, but no! had to go and give me coffee… and make me dependent on you… I am my own person I don’t need anyone’s help!

I was ready to leave this world, life is not living… you took everything away from me! Shit! Need my heroin, where the fuck am I and where is Dale? Dale the bastard! Should have known… where’s the damn gang when you need them?” my tirade slowed until I looked up again and narrowed my eyes.

 “LONGSHANKS! YOU MOTHER LOVING BASTARD! Don’t even know your name and you decide to hijack my trial too! Why am I here? Why are you here? Fucking filthy PIG!” I hollered at the top of my lungs, getting quieter as my anger left as quickly as it came, leaving me breathless and emotionally drained.

As I tried to catch my breath I heard a quiet voice stutter out…”My…My name is,” as he struggled to find his words I was intrigued enough to look up as he finally found his name. “ is, is Aad…Adam, not longshanks, and I’m sorry!” Before the sorry was fully formed on his lips, he rushed out the door. But what really surprised me was the fact that his retreat was completely opposite of his entrance, he quiet literally disappeared without a sound.

A gentle hand placed on my shoulder startled me; Sutan was sitting before me with a frown on his face. “Now was that really necessary?” he asked before sweeping from the room and locking the door from the outside.

Fuming, I flipped both fingers at the locked door before practically shredding the blankets in my attempt to get out of the bed. Once I had paced the room a few times I went over to the windows and contemplated jumping. Unfortunately that option was unavailable as the terrace rooftop had large pieces of glass jutting over the entire surface.

Stepping down from the sill I went back in and started inspecting the room in greater detail.  Since I was lock in, and sleep was never going to come back, what else was I going to do? I went back and started at the bed…the sheets were a black silk, matching pillows and a dark read comforter that matched the curtains.

Scowling at the obvious luxury, I turned to the dark mahogany dresser, the drawers were deep, and already held a good variety of cloths. The pants were way to long for me and fell down over my small hips, but most of the shirts were good enough to ware, as most boasted band covers. Moving on I scouted the rest of the room, find a lot of random lyrics scattered all over, the desk and most of the walls were covered in varying sizes of paper with tacks of all colors.

But as I looked closer there seemed to be a pattern to the colors gracing the walls. The different color tacks corresponded with the different pieces that make up a song. The beginning, middle end, chorus, breaks, and rifts… the more I looked the more impressed I became. In the end I decided to entertain myself by reading all of the lyrics scattered around the room and seeing if I could piece them together to form full songs.

By the time morning proper came around, I was surrounded with scraps of paper, a large stack of blank paper on my left with a small pile of paper covered in writing… the end of a pen between my lips as I studied a group of lyrics. I was so engrossed in the lyrics that I failed to notice the door open and a small person slip inside and settle on the bed. After a few minutes she cleared her throat.

The sound scared me and I sent all my papers flying. “Moring!” she called, “I heard about what happened last night after I left….” I just looked at her completely at a loss for who this strange woman was. “I’m Mia; I was talking to Sutan as you were waking up last night. I was the one who called Adam and let him know you were gracing the conscious world again.” Awareness crept into my eyes as I remembered what happened last night. “You and I have to have a serious talk!”

“But that can happen after we get some proper food in you and a shower.” She continued as my stomach protested from its forced starvation for…. How long was I out of it anyway? And when she mentioned shower, man did I really need one!

Nodding I followed her out of the room and down the hall where she showed me into a shared bathroom with private showers. 20 minutes later she was standing against the wall in the hall waiting for me to finish. Beckoning me with her hand I followed her again down the stairs at the end of the hall and across the threshold of a large wooden door.

I was immersed in my surroundings and completely failed to notice her stop in the doorway, so I slammed into her back. She had her arms spread wide trying to make her body a block or shield or something, curious I looked past her shoulder and stiffened.

“Adam, I think you may want to relocate….” She hedged out as she tried to keep me from getting into the kitchen. Unfortunately for her I had my mind set and managed to duck under her arms, strode firmly across the room. As I approached Adam stood up from his spot, taking a step back away from the table to face me properly. He opened his mouth to say something but his words never even formed before my fist connected with his jaw, and an elbow slammed into his gut, stealing his breath.

As I inspected my handiwork I realized that I was truly smiling for the first time in a very long time. I truly enjoyed letting my frustrations out, and this guy Adam was the perfect target! He was just another person who thought he could take over my life and tell me what I could or could not do.

Well people like him quickly learned that I was not someone who would just roll over and submit. I am a fighter, and can take care of myself, fuck no one had touched me since the, ugg I can’t even think about it. But no one had touched me since I was 13 and trust was something I put no stalk into, people always want something in return. 


	10. A failed drowning attempt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own the lyrics to the song! It is Chokehold by Adam Lambert. All credit, where Credit is due.

TPOV

Still grinning from my release in pent up energy and the look of absolute devastation on Longshanks face, I found a spot at the table as far away from him as possible and inspected the food on the table. My frown quickly turned into a disgusted sneer as everything on the table was healthy to the extreme. What happened to the white bread toast, pancakes, and chocolate milk? How the fuck was I supposed to eat the fruit salad, organic yogurt, and wheat bread with jam…shit!  

“If you want me to eat this crap…I’m going to need a bottle of Jack to wash it down with!” I said to no one in particular… my words apparently brought Mia back to the world of the living as she was still standing in the doorway.

“Ok Tommy, what would you like to eat then?” She asked as she moved into the room, going over to Longshanks and making sure he was ok.

Rolling my eyes, I responded “Just get me a large cup of black coffee, and I’ll scrounge around for some chips when I get hungry.” The looks sent my way obviously did not agree with my answer, but a few minutes later I was sipping on my coffee, and was content to just sit there and watch Longshanks squirm.

In the end he excused himself from the table and disappeared, but that didn’t bother me in the least. Once I finished the last of the delicious liquid, I trudged back up the stairs… I was not ready for that talk Mia had mentioned earlier…I really just wanted to hide out and be left alone to wallow in my too fancy, kind, healthy, and suffocating, prison.

Reaching the door to the room I had been given and walking right in, I almost tripped over the body lying stretched out on the floor. “What the FUCK are you doing here? Seriously you have no reason to be in my room! GET OUT!” I yelled as I kicked the prone body in the ribs.

He grunted with the force of my blow before rolling over on his back, it was then that I fully realized who it was…My eyes almost bugged out in fury, launching myself at him I sat on his stomach, pulling his hands up over his head, my feet hooking behind his knees.

Once I was sure that he could not get out of my hold, I noticed that he had a few of my papers clutched in his hand. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you basic manners?” I hissed out “This is my room, and you do not enter a room without permission! What were you doing in here anyway?” I asked again.

Adam’s electric blue eyes just stared up at me… shaking him hard I asked again why he was in here. “I… I…I really like what you have so far.” He mumbled out. Shaking my head I flipped him over pulling his arm painfully behind his back where I grabbed the papers from his hand before shoving him out of the room and slamming the door.

Listening to the slam echo down the hall, I just stood there staring at the door. Turing around I snatched up a pillow and screamed into it until I had forgotten why I was screaming in the first place. Letting the crushed pillow fall to the floor I looked around the room again. The walls felt like they were closing in around me. I felt like a caged animal.

Suddenly I was tearing around the room, snatching the red curtains I ripped them from their hangings, pulled all the coverings off the bed then proceeded to flip the mattress into a corner against the wall. Next I attacked the walls, sending all the lyrics in tatters to float to the floor. Moving on to the dresser I pulled everything out and sent the items of clothing flying across the room.

It was then that I noticed a black leather jacket hanging on the back of the chair which seemed like the only objects in the room to escape my destruction. Glaring at them I stalked over snatching up the jacket ready to hurl it out the window… but something about it made me pause…I inspected it closer and found that it was genuine leather, not the normal fake crap. Without thinking I shrugged into it…but then attacked the chair with a vengeance ripping it apart at the seams before all the little pieces were chucked out the window like they were vipers trying to bite me.

Settling down some I took in the damage to the room, I had expected to feel better, but really the lyrics scattered and torn around the room only made me feel worse. Picking up a random scrap I studied the mangled words…. _Look beyond the lies you’ve known_. _Still not that easy for me…_ the few lines hit home, and I stormed out of the room, down the stairs, out the front door, my bare feet connecting with the hot sand, pulled my mind out of the repeating phrases.

Glancing out at the horizon; seeing the sky run together with the sea, made me want to be a part of that seamlessness. Striping out of the leather jacket, shirt, and pants, down to the uncomfortable briefs that someone had given me. Trying to not think too much about the cold water, I quickly walked out waist deep then threw myself forward submerging my head.

Once my body acclimated to the new temperature, I let myself just float…not caring about how far I might be drifting, or the people around me, just enjoying the complete relaxation and soothing motion of the water under my body.

I was almost asleep, when I heard a motor boat approach, its engine cutting off not too far away. I decided it was not worth the effort needed to open my eyes until a large splash accompanied by a man made wave attempted to get the better of me.

The wave crashed over my head pushing me under and making me swallow a mouthful of very salty water. Spluttering as the water’s surface broke and air filled my lungs again, I struggled to keep my head above the water. Finally getting control over my body again, I went back to floating as I tried to slow the beating muscle pounding away in my chest.

“Hey Tommy, sorry about disturbing you.” Came Sutan’s voice. Freaking slightly I lost my focus again and decided it would be better to just try and tread water until I would be left in peace again.

 “What are you doing here?” I tried to sneer out, but basically failed as water went up my nose.

“Hey Sutan, have someone on the boat throw us a noodle.” Adam’s voice came from out of nowhere…spinning around I tried to pinpoint his location. He was closer to me than I thought…

“I don’t want your fucking help…I was perfectly fine until you showed up, just let me float in peace!” I hotly argued even as Adam was pushing a noodle into my hands. My body betrayed me by clinging to the floaty for dear life.

“Right…” Adam replied smirking as I clung tightly sighing in relief when it was easier to keep my head above the water.

“So wouldn’t have taken you for a guy with hidden tattoos … But then again…. They are really creepy!” Adam bantered out… notably shuddering at creepy. “Why would anyone want scary faces permanently ruining perfectly good skin?”

 

Completely forgetting the fact that I was in water miles over my head… I lunged at Adam…fists meeting any inch of skin that they could. Wrapping my legs around his in an attempt to get a better hold and pull him down…forgetting the fact that in the water I hardly have any weight to push another person around with. Ditching that plain, I pulled myself up and clung to his head…yea I know not very smooth but fuck I was so not in the mood to worry about appearances…

Finally I managed to submerge dark head under the water. Now was my chance to exact revenge on Lonshanks for all the shit he had pulled, including basically insulting my favorite horror movie characters!

Grinning to myself I plotted all of the different things that I could do to his body…using most of the faces on my arms for inspiration. But my dark plotting was interrupted when Adam sank lower under the water pulling me down with him…panicking I let go and scramble to break the surface. But an arm wrapped around my neck holding on to my shoulders, trapping me in a chokehold.

Suddenly my head was breaking the surface but another body was pressed against mine…Adam still had me in the chokehold, but he was floating on his back with my head and upper body resting against his chest. I tried to squirm away, but his grip only tightened. Admitting defeat I let my body go slack but apparently this sent more signals than I had expected… as Adam’s empty hand came up and gently caressed my cheek, moving down over my neck and onto my chest, his hand lazily making meaningless patterns and causing goosbumps to follow his wake.  I Really had had enough and just wanted to go hide….but the arm pinning me to his chest was not budging no matter how hard I tried…I struggled until all my energy was gone forced to just floated there uncomfortably.  

A few days passed….I had been hiding from the world, using my insomnia to my advantage by staying awake all night and dozing most of the day…which forced everyone to leave me alone. The last few nights I had spent working on putting together the disaster of lyrics, into an actual song… The end result had shivers constantly running up and down my spine….

Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
Sheets are in a knot  
My heart is like rock, hey  
  
Pictures flashin by inside my head  
I'm hanging my a thread  
But, I'd do it all again, hey  
  
I keep running away, running away, running away from you  
But I can't stand breaking the chains, breaking the chains, breaking the chains  
It's too good, cause I know the second you go  
Wantcha to bring it on back, bring it on back, bring it on back to me  
  
And you know I want your chokehold  
Wantcha to bring it on back, bring it on back, bring it on back to me  
  
Bring it on back to me  
Bring it on back to me  
  
Oh without your touch I suffocate  
Cold asphyxiate  
But I kinda like the pain, yeah  
Baby I can smell you on my clothes  
I try to stay composed  
But I feel the fever grow gro-ow oh!  
  
I keep running away, running away, running away from you  
But I can't stand breaking the chains, breaking the chains, breaking the chains  
It's too good, cause I know the second you go  
Wantcha to bring it on back, bring it on back, bring it on back to me  
  
And you know I want your chokehold  
Wantcha to bring it on back, bring it on back, bring it on back to me  
  
Bring it on back to me  
Bring it on back to me  
  
Cause I know the second you go  
Wantcha to bring it on back, bring it on back, bring it on back to me  
And you know, I want your chokehold  
Wantcha to bring on back, bring it on back, bring it on back to me, yeah  
  
Bring it on back to me  
Bring it on back to me  
Bring it on back to me..

 

This song hit too close to home for soooo many reasons…. My insomnia, the pain that I keep trapped inside, the longing for another person, and that damn CHOKEHOLD, that the bitch Longshanks had put me in the other day! Seriously…It was like he had written these just for me…But thinking about that again…It couldn’t have been him who came up with all these lyrics… He is a COP for god’s sakes!

I was so immersed in my growing agitation that I didn’t hear the gentle knock on the door before a small body slid in and situated itself on the center of the bed.  And just like before the small throat clearing scared me half to death…. Glancing around and spotting Mia on the bed…my shoulders slumped and I tried to hide the paper that contained the combined lyrics.

“Hey Tommy, I know that it has been rough for you here…”

“That’s the understatement of the week!” I grumbled out.

“Alright then, sure have it your way…but we are still going to have this talk…even if I am the only one talking and you do all the listening…It still needs to happen!” Mia stated flatly.

Giving her a wave as I rolled my eyes I got comfortable as I could feel a long tirade coming on. “Ok…so first things first, the trial results. The judge ruled that you would be handed over into the combined custody of Sutan Amrull, the owner of this establishment, and Officer Lambert.  

You are to reside here until your heroin addiction has been managed. No one is sure exactly how long it will take to get the addiction under control…but the last person who even came remotely close to your level stayed here for a good year and a half on a very challenging and strict regimen.

He was a bit of a special case, but I’m sure that if you work hard on going cold turkey, that you will be out of here in no time…” she trailed off….Not sure how to broach the next step of the agreement. I just arched an eyebrow at her before going back to picking at the cutoff fringe on the pants I was wearing.  

“After you graduate from here, you will be under house arrest, unless you decide to live with Officer Adam, and agree to wear a tracking device.”  Groaning I slumped sideways from my sitting position onto the floor. How could life get any worse!

The rest of the conversation was about how everyone was worried about me…even the other people who were patients here. How everyone wanted to see me get better and move on with my life… at one point I simply stuck my middle finger up, successfully stopping her tirade for a moment before she continued with “Tommy! You seriously DON’T want to get on Raja’s bad side…she will tear you apart!” With the threat still lingering in my ears Mia got up and left locking the door behind her. 


	11. Uncomfortable positions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy escapes....and Adam get's confronted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I consolidated and added. I hope you like the twists! 
> 
> -Kahylan

Tied of letting myself wallow in this disaster of a room, I pulled my boots on, wrapped them in a few old shirts for extra padding, before ripping another two shirts into strips and encasing my hands in the material, trying to protect them, from what was to come.

Satisfied with my handiwork, I opened up the window and lowered myself down from the sill, hanging about 5 feet from the roof of the terrace, the glass pieces sparkling in the sunlight. Letting go, I fell to the roof landing on all fours. Thankfully my feet were fine, but my hands were cut up and bleeding and stung like a bitch.

I inspected my cut hands looking for little pieces of glass. I picked a few out, hissing slightly as the glass slid out of my hands. I shook my head to clear it and jumped the last 12 feet to the ground.

Now that I was out, I really didn’t know where to do. I didn’t bring anything with me so I just started walking, hoping I could find a place to crash for the night. It was mostly residential and I walked the streets for hours. He finally got into a downtown area that was lined with bars, clubs and restaurants. He just picked one and slid in the door avoiding the bouncers. 

Tommy slipped into the dark fronted club, someone had recognized him and pulled some strings to get him past the bouncers at the door. He sighed in relief when he found himself in a dark corner with a drink in his hand. He hoped that he would just be able to meld with the crowd for a while, before finding someone that would take him in until he figured out what to do. He was sure that someone was out there looking for him already. It wasn't often that someone like him with the charges laid on his head got away for long. He shivered, that Adam guy was creepy when he really thought about it. Always trying to help him, see himself as more than what his life had always been. No, he, Tommy Joe, had always known the hard life of the streets and that's how he liked it. He had no desire to find or make a better life than what he had had before the fucker, Adam, had ruined his business. He shook his head, his undercut falling in his face as he tipped his head back and downed his drink. 

His luck wasn’t on his side. An officer came in to the club and started asking around. Tommy swore into his drink, sliding down in his seat trying to be invisible. How the hell had they found him so quickly? He didn’t have a tracker on…so. He watched the cop with silted eyes, the man was getting closer and closer. Tommy started to fidget, sweat breaking out on his brow. Suddenly someone grabbed his arm and pulled. Tommy yelped and fought back.

“Damn it TJ! Quit stalling we need to get you out of here!” At the sound of the voice Tommy’s breathing settled.

“Dale?”

“Yes you dumb ass! Not get moving!” Dale pulled him roughly out of the back door.   
 

As soon as they were out the back door Tommy shrugged out of his hold. “How did you find me Dale?”

“I’ve followed you. Been just on the outside the entire time… “ At Tommy’s incredulous look he continued. “What? You think I was going to let my best supplier get sent to the slammer. You are so much better than that….”

“The fuck do you want from me?” Tommy snarled out. He’d learned that no favor was ever left unclaimed, everything always came with a price.

“We can talk about that later.” Dale said easily a smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. He hailed a cab and pushed Tommy in. They drove about an hour and a half away. “Here we are…”

“Where the fuck are we?” Tommy asked him as he got out of the cab.

“My place. You can crash here.” Tommy gave him a dubious glace, this was the guy who was always second guessing him, always questioning what he did. They guy whose nose Tommy had broken the night of the raid. The small blond snorted and walked inside when Dale opened the door. At least he was out in the world again, he could handle himself out here.

* * *

 

APOV

Adam’s leave from formal patrol had come to a close. He was expected to show up in three hours. They’d given him a night shift. He sighed letting his head fall back on the couch he was sitting on in his house. He closed his eyes and blindly felt around for the remote hitting the center button and music started playing through the surround sound. He slowly started humming along with the song before finally starting to sing. It was something that not many people knew. But he loved it, and calmed him down. He didn’t realize how long he’d been sitting there until Mia burst in. “ADAMMM…..”

“The fuck Mia…” Adam jumped and shut off the music.

“What are you still doing in your pj’s? Don’t you have to be at work in an hour?” She asked.

Adam blinked at her before the words sunk in, “SHIT! Is it really 2pm already?”

“Uhh, yea Adam….what have you been doing?” She teased.

“Damn I can’t be late today of all days!” Adam jumped up and ran into his room. Mia followed him laughing.

“You act like such a girl sometimes Adam!”

“Thanks Mia…so much!” Adam said glancing at her as he pulled out his uniform. He went into the bathroom and started the water. “Fuck…can you grab me a towel?”

“You are soo needy!” Mia complained before waiting until Adam was in the shower before setting the towel she’d found in the dryer.

Five minutes later Adam was half dressed, pulling on his undershirt as he walked out of the bathroom tucking the shirt into his pants. “That was the fastest shower in like forever! You can’t call me that needy!” Mia just laughed as she helped him into his jacket. “Thanks!” Adam called back as he grabbed his keys and headed out the door to his cruiser. “Could you lock the place up for me? Thanks!” Mia rolled her eyes and waved him off.

Adam made use of his lead foot and made it just in time. He sighed as he looked up at the precinct. It gave him shivers to look at the building.  It just brought up too many memories. One day he’d get back at his brother for getting him into this job, even if he did enjoy it.  Not that he’d ever TELL Neil that.

He took a deep breath and pulled open the door ready for the barrage of questions that he’d somehow managed to put off, from when he’d brought Tommy in.  Sure enough as soon as he walked in the door Chief Mark had called him over to his office. “Adam…..we need to talk.”

Adam nodded and took a seat, there was nothing else he could do. “So what you did before…when Mr. Ratliff was taken in. It’s brought the department’s attention to the fact that most of us, including me, can’t deal with such a situation as a drug user. So we’ve decided that everyone will be going through training for it. That includes you.”

“What? Why do I have to go through the training?” Adam asked confused.

“Because Adam….you know what you are doing…but from the side of an addict. You need to learn how to deal with it as a healthy professional.”

“Are you saying that I didn’t do the right thing? By saving his life?” Adam growled, his eyes narrowing on his boss.

“Yes and no. Adam you have to realize that you were great. You work well under pressure and managed to do what no of the rest of us could. But it wasn’t in the correct way.”

“What would you know about the correct way?” Adam said standing up. “You have never suffered, never known the feeling of addiction, of needing something so much…more than air!”

Mike stood up. “Adam you need to calm down! Now!”

It took Adam a few minutes to get himself back under control, absently rubbing the crooks of his arms where his blotchy scars remained.


	12. The irresistible call of drugs.

APOV

I slowly stood from the chair I’d been sitting in for the past hour in Chief Mark’s office. I didn’t want to admit it but the conversation had made me jumpy. I reached my desk and sat down trying to relax, but I’d hardly closed my eyes when Jeff came over and slapped a file on my desk. “Got a new case and I want you to help me with it. Think you could do undercover? I’d be right up your ally!?”

I jumped and almost fell out of my chair, my long legs getting tangled. Jeff laughed and grabbed the back of the chair. “Easy man….why are you so jumpy?”

“I’m not jumpy!”

“Fine fine…but what do you think? Up for it?”

Sighing I looking up at him. “Jeff, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“You….going undercover to help crack this case wide open!” Jeff said simply.

“Why me?” I asked running a hand through my hair, it was one of my nervous ticks.   

“Because you are the only one that can realistically pull off being a druggie!”

My eyes snapped open horrified at his words. “WHAT?” I choked out. My mind instantly jumping to how Jeff could have learned that I’d been an addict. “NO! No…I won’t do it!”

“But Adam….you did great when that Ratliff kid was in withdrawal. You would fit right in!”

“Ohh great thanks! That makes me feel so good about myself, you saying that I’d fit right in with the kind of people that I’m trying to put away.”

“Aww come on man! You’d do great. We’d have you covered most of the time, you’d just have to integrate into their world.”

  
“Yea that’s what I’m worried about.” I growled. “Fine someone else to do it!”

Jeff finally backed off seeing that I really wasn’t happy with this idea.  It took a while to get me to get back in the mindset for work after the confrontation, before going back out and walking the streets slapping parking tickets on the car’s that had over stayed their welcome. For some reason that always made me feel better. As the hours passed I started humming to myself as he walked around just enjoying being outside. As I walked past one of the parks a few kids ran over to me. I smiled as they asked me to sing. These kids were always at the park and I had grown to knew them well.

“Alright guys I can only do one though…I’m on patrol.” The kids cheered and I closed my eyes thinking of a song, before I started singing for them. They all loved it and pleaded for another. I tried to escape after the first but I’m such a softie, especially for kids that I gave them another song, before playfully sticking a ticket on the eldest head. The kid peeled it off and laughed at the funny face I’d had drawn on it. But by the time the kid looked up I was well on my way down the street, chuckling softly.

Adam loved the kids, they were another reason why he loved walking the streets, he got to have fun at the same time. He finally made his way back to the precinct. And did the paperwork that went along with all the tickets he’d given out, making a record of everything. By the time he was done it was 6pm and his shift was over. He grabbed his jacket and packed up before getting into his car.

As he looked back at the building what Jeff had asked came back to him. He’d been trying to repress it. Obviously that wasn’t working very well. He unlocked the car and just sat in the driver’s seat, head resting on the steering wheel. There was no way he could handle being thrown back into his old crowd. He’d sink so far that the small pin prick of light would be gone.

* * *

 

TPOV

I flopped over on the couch and groaned. It smelled like….like pot, stale sex, sweat, and just nastiness. “Damn Dale You ever clean this thing?”

He laughed. “Nope!”

“Fuck!” The blond rolled off onto the floor. “I’d rather sleep here! You live in a dump! And that’s bad coming from me!”

“If you don’t like it go find someone else that will take in your sorry ass.” I flicked him off and got up walking around the small place. It would work for tonight but damn I wasn’t going to stay here any longer than I had too.  Somehow I fell asleep on the hard floor. I’d managed to find a small blanket that’d been stashed away in the back of the closet that didn’t smell too horribly. The sun’s first rays were just lighting up the sky when I woke up and rolled to my feet, my back and joints cracking in protest of the harsh floor. Shaking my head I walked into the bedroom where Dale was sleeping on the bed. He’d kicked off the blankets and was just in boxers. Ohh It was a nasty sight. One that I wished I could burn from my memory. Dale was a big slob of a man and the fat just oozed off him. I shuddered and picked up his pants that he’d left on the floor fishing for his wallet. I gave a quiet “WOO” when I found that it was chuck full of 100 dollar bills. Trust a druggy to carry lots of cash. I cleaned him out before throwing the wallet to the ground and feeling better for the first time in a long time walked out, the slamming of the door making me laugh at the freedom I had again.

First things first! Coffee, and food. I grabbed a cab and had them take me to the nearest diner. 15 minutes later I was holding a seeming hot cup of coffee and waiting on my food. It felt so amazingly good to just live again. No worries. I must have downed about 5 cups of the coffee before my food even arrived. The greasy dinginess of the place felt like home.  Once my coffee addiction had been satisfied, and a full stomach, I was ready to start looking for my old suppliers.

It took a fully day for me to find them, they’d moved and changed names after my stint in cuffs. But with my face and reputation all I had to do was ask around and I was lead to the right place. I pounded on the metal door in the back of a falling down building on the edge of town. It took a few tries for anyone to actually open the door, but well HELL no one else used my knock and who would have thought that I’d get out?

“Fuck…TJ!? Is that really you?”

“The Fuck do you think Sugar? You going to let your best client in or what?” I smirked when the door opened and I walked into a narrow dark hallway. Sugar lead me down a set of stairs and into the main room where they cut the shit into doses and mixed it.

A stupid grin lit up my face. “Ohh I have missed this place! Can I get a hit?”

“You got cash?” Sugar asked skeptically.

I snorted. “Do you think I’d be here if I didn’t have cash?” I pulled out the money and flashed it at him.

Sugar rolled his eyes. “You got enough for your usual order?” I counted out what I had and nodded.  “Good to have you back man…my business suffered without my best dealer.”

20 Minutes later I was walking out with my pockets loaded of heroin. I was totally buzzed by the small amount I’d snorted before leaving. It sucked! I craved more, but my body need to learn how to handle it again. I managed to get a room at an old ratty motel. I swore it had bedbugs but it was better than Dale’s place. It felt good to sleep in a real bed again. But when my insomnia woke me up around 3am, I thought I was back in my room at the FAA and panicked for a minute. It wound me up so much that I pulled out a dose and a half and quickly got the drug into my system. “NO!” I said to myself. “That is not your life TJ. It never has been and never will be. Your life is here, on the streets and crappy motels, selling your drugs.”

It was then that I realized I still had on the leather jacket from the prison of a room. I laughed, “Well, I think I can keep this though…”


	13. The haunting past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is all Adam. He needed some love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!! So I'm sorry for those who's comments were deleted when I rearranged the chapters... You guys are awesome!!!
> 
> But I live for comments...so if you read it and want me to continue writing...PLEASE! PLEASE let me know what you think! I love this story...but I want to make sure that you love it too!
> 
> -Kahylan!

APOV

When I finally got home I went to my fridge and pulled out my bottle of rum and a can of coke, before taking a large glass out from the dishwasher. I set them on the counter and went to my room to strip out of my suddenly confining uniform and into my beloved, well-worn sweats. Once comfortable I grabbed everything from the shelf and flopped down on the couch, flipping through the channels until I found a stupid soap opera and started drinking. Those few fun easy moments with the kids in the park felt like a million years ago. It wasn’t long before my head was getting fuzzy and when I tried to stand I almost fell back over. I was soo hammered!

At some point I must have called or texted Sutan as he was soon yelling in my ear. “Go…go way!” I groaned, the loud noise hurting my head.

“Damn it Adam…the hell happened? I haven’t seen you like this since….well a long time. You’ve drank half the bottle….and its 40% alcohol!”

“Shut up Mia….”

 There was a heavy sigh from my left, or at least I thought it was my left. “Adam baby, its Sutan! Here, drink this!”

A bottle was shoved into my hands and I brought it to my lips. As soon as the liquid hit my tongue I tried to spit it back out. “This has no taste!”

“Honey its water. You need to drink it! It will make you feel better later!” Sutan cursed as he fought with me to drink the water. Finally he gave up and somehow hauled my ass off the couch and into the bathroom. He turned the cold water on and shoved me in, which really wasn’t all that hard as my balance was absolute shit. The shock to my system made me yelp and slip falling and slamming my back on the edge of the tub. I must have blacked out after that.

It had to be morning by the very rude and painful awakening that Sutan gave me. He’d gotten the two largest skillets he could find in my cupboards and was banging them together. “Get that ass up Adam! You still have to work! Can’t skip just because you were a stupid brat and got yourself drunk!”

 I reached out from under the blankets and felt around. I grabbed my alarm clock and cucked it in the direction of his voice. There was a loud banging noise accompanied by the sound of the alarm going off, not appreciating the abuse. Satan’s laugh met my ears.

“DAMN IT!” I swore. It was then that it all  came crashing back to me, yesterday, Jeff, undercover, drugs, I just couldn’t handle it. I curled up into a little ball and muttered. “I can’t Sutan….I just can’t. Can you call in sick for me?”

“Adam when was the last time you EVER called in sick for anything?” Sutan asked. His voice now edged with worry, no longer sharp.

“They want me to go undercover….”

“Well that shouldn’t be so bad. You are a good actor Adam, everyone knows that. Why wouldn’t they pick you?”

“NO. You don’t understand! They want me to go under as a druggy.”

Sutan sucked in a sharp breath. “Ohh Adam….”

“I can’t do it! I can’t fall back down there….or I might never come back out.” There was silence before I felt Sutan climb onto the bed and he just held me in his comforting embrace. After an immeasurable amount of time passed, “I’ll call in for you ok Baby? You just try and relax.” Sutan whispered quietly in my ear. I nodded and just pulled the blankets over my head again.

In the afternoon I managed to drag my ass out of bed and take a shower, well it actually turned into a bath, as my legs just didn’t want to stand that long. The hot water felt good, my skin was turning red from the heat of it, but I really didn’t care. It was like the heat was burning the darkness out of me, the pain of it was real, keep me grounded. I finally got out, my skin looking like I’d been out in the sun for hours. I pulled some slacks on as they wouldn’t chafe so much against my practically raw skin, and sat out in the living room. My stomach growled, I knew I was hungry but I just had no appetite for anything. Slowly the light crawled across the wall showing the passing of the hours that I just sat there, my mind completely blank of anything.  Slowly a voice penetrated the numbness of my mind, “Adam….Adam….Adam!” Slowly my eyes focused on the person before me.

“Mia?”

“Thank god! I was just about to call 911. I’ve been standing here right in front of you for like 15 minutes trying to get your attention!”

I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few times. It was pitch black outside. “What time is it?” I asked groggily.

“It’s close to 10:30. Have you been sitting here all day?”

“10:30…” I repeated trying to make sense of what she was saying.

Mia sighed and grabbed my hand. “Sutan said you were bad…But I never thought it would be this bad. Let’s get some food into you alright?”

I let her pull me to the kitchen and into a chair and I just laid my head on my arms and just breathed, enjoying the coolness of the marble countertop. Mia bustled around me, cooking something. The smell wafted to my nose and made my stomach grow again. I don’t know how long it too for her to put the food together, but it was both forever and almost instantaneous.

“Here you need to eat this!” She said putting the plate in front of me. Slowly I sat up. She had prepared a wonderful dinner, potatoes, steak, and green beans. I tried to eat some of it, but it just went down so hard! I finally pushed the plate away when I’d finished half of it.

“Adam….you need to finish that. I didn’t give you very much.” Mia said softly.

“No…I’m done…I can’t eat anymore or it will all come back up.” As I said that my stomach heaved and I quickly stumbled to the bathroom.


	14. Going Undercover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry about the multiple year hiatus. But with life...and two very bad, almost dangerous relationships...well I'm sure you'll all understand. :) 
> 
> I love this story! And I'm finally getting back to writing! YAY! I know its short, but just kinda feeling it out again. Figuring out where Adam and Tommy both are at the moment and where they will lead me now. 
> 
> Enjoy!

I'd managed to get three sick days off, allowing me to be out of the station for five full days. Even though no doctor would ever provide me a sick note, I felt like hell. The very idea of going undercover in the drug scene made my mind whirl around all of that time I'd actually been sucked into that world of my own violation. The memories that were haunting my mind were terrifying. It didn't help at all that on Friday night I'd gotten a call from Sutan, not that that was anything new. He'd been calling me multiple times a day after Mia had told him about my undercover job. No, this call was worse than his jabbering at me to remember that I had a lot of people who loved me and would help anytime I needed them. No. The phone rang....

"Hey Sutan." It wasn't my normal warm greeting for him. But I'd basically fallen into a depression, constantly rubbing the crooks of my arms, where the old scars seemed to haunt me with phantom pain from the memories of needles pricking them. 

"Adam. You have to listen to me." Sutan said seriously. The tone of his voice was wrong, for his normal call, even when he called to tell me to stop wallowing. "It's Tommy. He's escaped the facility." 

Slowly the words processed through my beaten mind. I blinked a few times rolling the words around in my head trying to grasp the full meaning. "Adam...ADAM! Did you hear me?" Sutan practically yelled into the receiver. 

I winced and held the phone back from my ear. "Yeah I heard you...I'm just trying to...Wait. Tommy? He's gone!?" I asked incredulous. The unbelief and shock clear in my bell like voice. 

"Yeah...he got out the window. Probably used some of your shirts...there's quite a few missing, along with your leather jacket." Sutan replied like the entire weight of the world was on his shoulders. "I think he even took a lot of your lyrics with him...not that I can really tell, with you pinning them on every surface." He snorted. "But there just seems to be spots that just aren't as full as normal." 

"He took my shit?" I just couldn't really understand all of this. I was tired and an emotional mess. "Well I guess I understand the clothes...but my lyrics?" 

"Yeah I don't understand either. But he's our responsibility and he's now at large." Sutan said slowly. Obviously thinking I needed the slow pace to understand. And in all reality I did. I sighed into the phone and closed my eyes. I ran a hand through my grease hair. I hadn't been this emotionally stunted to ignore my appearance to this level since I myself was enrolled in the facility. 

"Ok...I'll work on it." I sighed again. "I guess I just found the silver lining to having to integrate myself back into the world of drugs. Thanks Sutan. I'll talk to you later." I hung up the phone before he could say anything else. I really needed a shower. Hopefully it would help clear my mind. As I stood in the shower events and preparations seemed to just start rolling through already formed. With a direction, even if I hated it. I finally started to relax. I knew it was crazy. I should have been able to get over my past with knowing it was doing it for my job, for the better of the rest of the city's population. But somehow it meant more now that I knew Tommy was on the loose. It was down right fucking stupid how clear my mind became. Putting lists of things together that I'd have to do over the weekend to be ready. After twenty minutes of standing under the hot water I finally cleaned myself up. But not nearly to my normal degree. I left my hair with just shampoo, letting it dry as it would. I didn't shave the three days worth of growth off my face, which gave me a scruffy look that matched my messy hair. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Great. Now all I need are my old piercings, and old wardrobe. But they wont fit me anymore, so I guess it's time to go shopping...and I'll need a new car too...Fuck! Good thing the department is helping fund this insane endeavor." I ran a hand over my face. "This is gonna be hell on earth. I hope I don't loose my job over this." 

I finished up in the bathroom and called Raja. "Hey...I need a shopping buddy." That was all it took. All the motivation needed for her to be over and banging on my apartment door in half an hour. Which was the exact time it took to get from our respective places. She must have been getting in the car as I said the word shopping.

By the end of the day my credit card was maxed out. Raja had practically bought out an entire mall, and then spent a small fortune on getting me the perfect car. Being a druggy was expense. Not to mention what I'd bought to start fully manufacturing my heroin again. I knew the process like the back of my own hand. It was an unfortunate part of who I was...a piece that I'd probably never live down. My only consolation was that this time, I would hopefully be helping a lot of other people. Getting on the inside, climbing the ranks, and taking the drug ring down from the heart. I just prayed to any god that would listen, that I'd actually be able to do it and not let the drugs completely take me over. But with my history it would be all to easy to fall in even deeper than I was before. Life just never gave me any kind of break.


	15. You're thrown under the buss no matter what...

TPOV

I'd been out of the facility for about a week now and I was loving life. I'd gotten cash from selling, I was slowly getting used to having drugs in my system and I felt great! I'd gotten a lot of my old clients back and Brad was finally wising up to the fact that I was back and not going to let him walk all over me. I smirked at the thought of him. Yeah, I had fun putting him back in his place. It was amazing to be back at the top of the pecking order again. Not that it was easy...or that I wasn't still fighting for my place. I'd be fighting for a long while...once you fell,or got the cop's up your ass...well it obviously breaded seeds of doubt, which others loved to try and use to usurp you.

I huddled back into the corner I was standing in on the street side. It was a freaking cold day. The wind was whipping around the corners of the buildings, creating a wind tunnel. I was waiting for a new contact and he was five minutes late already. I sighed and pulled the long sleeves of the leather jacket over my hands, then held on to the cuffs as I brought them up to my face, cupping the warm air from my lungs back into my face. I closed my eyes as a hint of a scent reached my nose and processed in my mind. After this long, I'd figure that the scent would be long gone, replaced with my own. So maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but I swear it was that fucker Longshank's smell of wolfthorn soap and peaches. An odd mix but it seemed to work. "FUCKING HELL!" I swore. Nothing I did could get that damn scent and those piercing blue eyes out of my head. It was ridiculous! I stomped my feet a little trying to keep the blood flowing. I hated being cold blooded. Even if it was warm for everyone else. I always froze when the temperature dropped lower than 70 degrees. My school nurses always said it was because I was so skinny and shit, but fuck them. I'd just layer more and live in the sun. No way was I going to go somewhere where it snowed more than a few days a year.

The bloke finally showed up fifteen minutes late. I really wasn't impressed. I appreciated promptness. I went through the pre-arranged formalities to make sure I had the right person, before starting to pull out my wears. Only problem was this guy...wasn't interested in what I had to sell...he came on to me like a drunken teenager. Hands trying to cop a feel and thinking he was being all sexy as hell. I squirmed out of his grabby hands and punched him hard in the nose like I'd done with Brad all those months ago, breaking the guy's nose. I kicked him in the groin for good measure, before fixing my jacket and walking away from the moaning wretch. Being almost accosted was enough for one freezing night. I didn't want to deal with anymore people, so I just went back to my seedy hotel room. Hopefully I'd be able to get a real apartment soon with the money I was making. I was sick of living less than I was used to. And I really could use some new clothes. But food, drugs, and housing came before the clothes did. Need's were a must.

* * *

 APOV

When I walked into the station Monday morning, I got a lot of looks. I was still in my uniform but i wasn't fully up to code, my hair was shaggy and I had kept my facial hair at a scruffy stubbly length, that gave me a rougher look. When I was shaved I looked a lot younger and approachable. But if I had stubble, it accentuated my strong jaw and made my height more intimidating. 

When Jeff saw me I swear he almost shit his pants. His eyes widened and he went for his taser.  "Who the hell are you?" He demanded. 

I laughed my easy laugh. It was really quite funny in a sad kind of way. I'd hardly changed yet, I had a long way left to go, and my partner was suspicious of me when I had my uniform on. "Jeff. It's me Adam. You partner remember?" 

"Son of a bitch Adam! You almost gave me a heart attack! Man....so you took up the bosses offer?"

"It wasn't so much an offer as a demand...and I really didn't have much of a choice, but yes." I said simply. You had to be careful how and who you talked to once you were assigned as undercover, even in your own department. You didn't want to give yourself away before the game ever begun. But with Jeff being his partner he would have to be informed at least a little as he would be assigned a new partner for while I was undercover. Had to keep up appearances. The department would put me on leave or something, training across the country maybe, to explain away my absence.

After Jeff nodded and went back to work, I walked over and knocked on Chief Mark's door. "Enter!" Was the sharp command. I walked in and shut the door behind me. When Mark looked up, his eyes narrowed looking over my appearance carefully. "You really do have that look about you...I'm glad you're on our side Adam." 

I huffed out a breath,  half a smirk on my face. "Gee thank's Chief. I always wanted to be called a good druggy." After that Mark relaxed and easily informed me of what I was needed to do, handing me a massive file. It held all of the known information of the dealers, growers, and buyers."

Adam...you are going to be in deep. We won't be able to easily get you out." Mark said sobering. "We will place a tracker under your skin and set up drops. But that is all we will really be able to do for you, unless you get yourself arrested. I want you to get in with everyone. You have history in each position of the business  and we want you to fill them all."

I looked up at him from the files in shock. "You want me to grow the shit too? Process it and sell it?" 

"Yes. You are going to be walking a very fine line. One foot on each side of the law." 

I swallowed thickly. Why....Why the hell did I have to be the one assigned to this? I was the newbie...not even in the force a year...and I was stuck with this? Wasn't it normally for those officers that were ten year veterans, who knew what the hell they were doing? "Why me?" I couldn't hold the question back any longer. I had to know why he thought I was the best for this damn fucking undercover job. 

Mark sighed and leaned back in his swivel chair, tucking his hands behind his head. "Well....there isn't an easy answer." He started out. 

"But...surly there is someone who has more experience than me on the force that would be better suited." I really was trying to understand how I got landed in this situation. 

"There are senior officers that could take the job. Yes. But...they wouldn't blend well into the crowd today. They are too old. Today its all about the young crowd, those that grew up in the business, willing to do the extreme, push all the boundaries." He sighed. "I wouldn't normally ask this of you....but at the same time you are the only logical choice. What you have to understand Adam, is that they will suspect anyone that isn't a real user...someone who can handle the pressure of drugs, give in to them, and be ok with it." I choked and coughed hard. 

 "WAIT Wait just a goddamned moment!" I yelped, catching my breath. "Let me get this straight! You are asking me to do this job, because you know I can and most likely will succumb to the temptation of the drugs?"

Mark rubbed the back of his head, his gaze focused on his desk. He finally leaned forward and met my eyes. "The simple answer is Yes." 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
